Comments on: http://tinywords.com/2009/12/01/wilson/ haiku & other small poems Sun, 13 May 2012 10:35:26 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Kathabela Wilsonhttp://tinywords.com/2009/12/01/wilson/comment-page-1/#comment-241 Kathabela Wilson Tue, 08 Dec 2009 21:37:25 +0000 http://tinywords.com/?p=147#comment-241 Thank all of you for this wonderful discussion, and the last four of you Dana, Larylee, Cindy, and Sara (!) for your beautiful exposition, just as I was feeling it. It is wonderful to have such a dialogue! Thank all of you for this wonderful discussion, and the last four of you Dana, Larylee, Cindy, and Sara (!) for your beautiful exposition, just as I was feeling it. It is wonderful to have such a dialogue!

]]> By: Kathabela Wilsonhttp://tinywords.com/2009/12/01/wilson/comment-page-1/#comment-145 Kathabela Wilson Tue, 08 Dec 2009 13:37:25 +0000 http://tinywords.com/?p=147#comment-145 Thank all of you for this wonderful discussion, and the last four of you Dana, Larylee, Cindy, and Sara (!) for your beautiful exposition, just as I was feeling it. It is wonderful to have such a dialogue! Thank all of you for this wonderful discussion, and the last four of you Dana, Larylee, Cindy, and Sara (!) for your beautiful exposition, just as I was feeling it. It is wonderful to have such a dialogue!

]]> By: danamariaonicahttp://tinywords.com/2009/12/01/wilson/comment-page-1/#comment-139 danamariaonica Tue, 08 Dec 2009 04:05:29 +0000 http://tinywords.com/?p=147#comment-139 :) :)

]]> By: Sandra Simpsonhttp://tinywords.com/2009/12/01/wilson/comment-page-1/#comment-132 Sandra Simpson Mon, 07 Dec 2009 06:55:31 +0000 http://tinywords.com/?p=147#comment-132 I don't see a problem with the 3 lines, in fact, when compared to the two-line version I feel it is better the way it has been presented.<br>alone in the library<br>(creates the scene, the quiet, the scent of books, allows the reader to decide the time of day)<br>I open<br>(a mysterious line urging us to read the conclusion - open is a wonderful word here for what does one open oneself to?)<br>to autumn<br>(brilliant conclusion that includes a play on the fact we're in a library and may be reading an encyclopaedia; a gardening book; a photo book of a foreign country, etc).<br>Three lines it is, and three lines it should be IMHO. I don't see a problem with the 3 lines, in fact, when compared to the two-line version I feel it is better the way it has been presented.
alone in the library
(creates the scene, the quiet, the scent of books, allows the reader to decide the time of day)
I open
(a mysterious line urging us to read the conclusion – open is a wonderful word here for what does one open oneself to?)
to autumn
(brilliant conclusion that includes a play on the fact we're in a library and may be reading an encyclopaedia; a gardening book; a photo book of a foreign country, etc).
Three lines it is, and three lines it should be IMHO.

]]> By: danamariaonicahttp://tinywords.com/2009/12/01/wilson/comment-page-1/#comment-129 danamariaonica Sat, 05 Dec 2009 02:04:48 +0000 http://tinywords.com/?p=147#comment-129 In my opinion, the break after "open" is not only important, but the key of the poem. A "long/ short" arrangement would make the poem more fluent, harmonious:<br><br><br>alone in the library I open<br>to autumn<br><br><br><br>Dana-Maria In my opinion, the break after “open” is not only important, but the key of the poem. A “long/ short” arrangement would make the poem more fluent, harmonious:

alone in the library I open
to autumn

Dana-Maria

]]> By: Cindyhttp://tinywords.com/2009/12/01/wilson/comment-page-1/#comment-128 Cindy Fri, 04 Dec 2009 23:37:32 +0000 http://tinywords.com/?p=147#comment-128 In this case, I like the poem on three lines because the break after "open" leaves the reader with open expectations as to what will follow. In this case, I like the poem on three lines because the break after “open” leaves the reader with open expectations as to what will follow.

]]> By: laryaleehttp://tinywords.com/2009/12/01/wilson/comment-page-1/#comment-122 laryalee Fri, 04 Dec 2009 01:46:18 +0000 http://tinywords.com/?p=147#comment-122 I really enjoyed this one! I really enjoyed this one!

]]> By: danamariaonicahttp://tinywords.com/2009/12/01/wilson/comment-page-1/#comment-118 danamariaonica Thu, 03 Dec 2009 07:27:08 +0000 http://tinywords.com/?p=147#comment-118 I thank you, Kathabela, for sharing your poem and my thanks to Dylan, for his choice. <br>I wonder why I meet so few poems written in two-lines form. They are not an experiment, an innovation; on the contrary: <br>“Everybody in the world knows that haiku fall into 5/7/5 (and of course this leads to the preference for a three-line translation), but in terms of the actual effect of the originals, this can be very misleading. In fact, very few haiku (or hokku) fall straightforwardly into a three-phrase pattern, and indeed haiku poets tend to dislike this pattern. This is related to the fact that, because Japanese is not a stress language, a 5/7/5 pattern cannot actually cut across or be independent of the syntax in the way that, say, a iambic rhythm can in English. (…) In Japanese poetry, therefore, the flow of the syntax plays a different and much more dominant role in determining the rhythm of the verse. In this hokku, as so often, what we actually have within the 5/7/5 pattern is a 12/5 pattern, and a moment's reflection will show that many famous haiku are either 12/5 or 5/12.” – prof Adrian Pinnigton ( Waseda University),on PMJS forum, speaking about a Buson’s hokku<br><br><br>Thank you<br><br>Dana-Maria I thank you, Kathabela, for sharing your poem and my thanks to Dylan, for his choice.
I wonder why I meet so few poems written in two-lines form. They are not an experiment, an innovation; on the contrary:
“Everybody in the world knows that haiku fall into 5/7/5 (and of course this leads to the preference for a three-line translation), but in terms of the actual effect of the originals, this can be very misleading. In fact, very few haiku (or hokku) fall straightforwardly into a three-phrase pattern, and indeed haiku poets tend to dislike this pattern. This is related to the fact that, because Japanese is not a stress language, a 5/7/5 pattern cannot actually cut across or be independent of the syntax in the way that, say, a iambic rhythm can in English. (…) In Japanese poetry, therefore, the flow of the syntax plays a different and much more dominant role in determining the rhythm of the verse. In this hokku, as so often, what we actually have within the 5/7/5 pattern is a 12/5 pattern, and a moment's reflection will show that many famous haiku are either 12/5 or 5/12.” – prof Adrian Pinnigton ( Waseda University),on PMJS forum, speaking about a Buson’s hokku

Thank you

Dana-Maria

]]> By: Kathabela Wilsonhttp://tinywords.com/2009/12/01/wilson/comment-page-1/#comment-115 Kathabela Wilson Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:56:04 +0000 http://tinywords.com/?p=147#comment-115 thank you all for feeling this moment with me... I was surprised, and felt an added layer of meaning in my own poem when it was placed as the opening of this new autumn~spun web of tiny words....dana marie, thank you especially for the list of openings... yes. And I had considered two lines, I wonder ... thank you all for feeling this moment with me… I was surprised, and felt an added layer of meaning in my own poem when it was placed as the opening of this new autumn~spun web of tiny words….dana marie, thank you especially for the list of openings… yes. And I had considered two lines, I wonder …

]]> By: kurvinhttp://tinywords.com/2009/12/01/wilson/comment-page-1/#comment-111 kurvin Wed, 02 Dec 2009 11:29:06 +0000 http://tinywords.com/?p=147#comment-111 Wow.. thats really moving! Wow.. thats really moving!

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