The road to nowhere indeed, Helga H?rle – perhaps stuck forever, beyond nowhere’s great rainbow, as (the other) Dylan once, famously, remarked. Nice job.
green traffic lights
an urban night with neon
in the driving snow
Without the snow, in this excellent urban haiku, Alan Summers, it would not work as a bleak wintery allusion to the world as we currently find it. Icicles could substitute in an SFku version maybe – you know, on another planet? Brr…
I think Alan’s comment, syllable, was a general “I do wish winter would end” kind of thing after the Northern Hemipshere’s tough season, not a comment on the use of snow in haiku or, indeed, this haiku, which is very fine.
Yes, Alan Summers, without the snow an otherwise excellent haiku would become an oft said, and somewhat banal, modernist rhetoric. A clich?. In truth, this is where clockwork mind, so ubiquitously unknowingly, can obfuscate. In this case, quite an effective dystopian vision.
garden of snowballs
all melted reveal the shock
poor squashed flowers!
February 26th, 2010 at 10:35 am
The road to nowhere indeed, Helga H?rle – perhaps stuck forever, beyond nowhere’s great rainbow, as (the other) Dylan once, famously, remarked. Nice job.
green traffic lights
an urban night with neon
in the driving snow
? s?17
February 26th, 2010 at 11:03 am
Good atmospheric haiku, but please no more snow.
But enjoyed this one! ;-)
Alan Summers
February 26th, 2010 at 1:01 pm
Without the snow, in this excellent urban haiku, Alan Summers, it would not work as a bleak wintery allusion to the world as we currently find it. Icicles could substitute in an SFku version maybe – you know, on another planet? Brr…
February 26th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
Everywhere/nowhere–a wonderful juxtaposition! Magical haiku. Glad you are still alive to tell the tale.
February 26th, 2010 at 8:21 pm
red traffic lights
the cars wait
not so the snow
:)
February 26th, 2010 at 9:26 pm
I think Alan’s comment, syllable, was a general “I do wish winter would end” kind of thing after the Northern Hemipshere’s tough season, not a comment on the use of snow in haiku or, indeed, this haiku, which is very fine.
February 27th, 2010 at 6:18 am
Yes, sandra, the snow is very much a part of the existential noir of Helga H?rle’s good ku. Rain, or hail even, would have much less delivery impact.
orange traffic lights
only the snow
takes a chance
? s?17
February 27th, 2010 at 4:32 pm
Thanks Sandra! ;-)
Yes, I meant no more snow here in England, or even elsewhere where it’s only seasonal. ;-)
Mind you, without the ‘snow’ in the haiku it becomes a neat senryu:
traffic jam ?
from everywhere
the heading nowhere
Good snow haiku and good snowless senryu. ;-)
Alan
February 28th, 2010 at 12:00 am
Yes, Alan Summers, without the snow an otherwise excellent haiku would become an oft said, and somewhat banal, modernist rhetoric. A clich?. In truth, this is where clockwork mind, so ubiquitously unknowingly, can obfuscate. In this case, quite an effective dystopian vision.
garden of snowballs
all melted reveal the shock
poor squashed flowers!
? s?17
August 15th, 2010 at 3:30 pm
snowfall
the traffic jam
whitens