the little spider hunches sideways— night shift
—Melinda B Hipple
Issue 10.2 | 14 September 2010
a spider and its shadow? Jumping to no conclusions…
Grandpa
Lovely and closely observant with a wonderful pivot.
Brings back memories of night shift work and all the cleaning to be done…..with half-closed eyes!
Excellent!
The choice of "hunches" really makes this a tighter haiku.
I daresay most of us have done nightshifts and/or graveyard shifts. I really feel you have banded us together with this haiku. Thank you! ;-)
pici pók inal oldalvást – éjjeli m?szak
Don't know whether it was intentional or not, but the use of shift in the line following on from 'hunches' works great – the sense of moving, changing position…
Thank you all again for the lovely responses. Yes, petertwo, there is that subtle play on words.
Thank you, Gergely, for the wonderful translations of both poems. Lovely to see them in another language.
awning drip the jumping spider steps across the desk
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September 14th, 2010 at 4:48 pm
a spider and its shadow? Jumping to no conclusions…
Grandpa
September 14th, 2010 at 9:47 pm
Lovely and closely observant with a wonderful pivot.
Brings back memories of night shift work and all the cleaning to be done…..with half-closed eyes!
September 15th, 2010 at 3:22 am
Excellent!
The choice of "hunches" really makes this a tighter haiku.
I daresay most of us have done nightshifts and/or graveyard shifts. I really feel you have banded us together with this haiku. Thank you! ;-)
September 17th, 2010 at 7:32 am
pici pók
inal oldalvást –
éjjeli m?szak
September 22nd, 2010 at 11:09 am
Don't know whether it was intentional or not, but the use of shift in the line following on from 'hunches' works great – the sense of moving, changing position…
September 24th, 2010 at 1:19 pm
Thank you all again for the lovely responses. Yes, petertwo, there is that subtle play on words.
Thank you, Gergely, for the wonderful translations of both poems. Lovely to see them in another language.
October 10th, 2010 at 10:56 am
awning drip
the jumping spider steps
across the desk