he thinks again of turning leaves her hands


9 Responses

  1. Marie Shimane Says:

    thoughts of turning leaves her hand on his

  2. angie Says:

    thanks, marie.
    to me, the 'on his' takes away the play on the word 'leaves….'

  3. Marie Shimane Says:

    Yes, I have eliminated the subject for "thoughts". The "on' is her plea not to leave or just to comfort during this season of turning. Yours does open up many more possibilities….

  4. Across the Haikuverse, No. 26: The Z Edition « Red Dragonfly Says:

    […] – Angie Werren, Tinywords […]

  5. Myron Lysenko Says:

    Congrats Angie!

  6. angie Says:

    thank you, myron!
    ;)

  7. martin1223 Says:

    autumn dusk
    the red haired boy twirls
    with the leaves

  8. lucychili Says:

    lovely

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