I love the cleverness of construction of this poem, Jim.
The single line format makes the poem itself into a picture of the scene for us – like a boat on the horizon. The middle of the poem is the word "rocks". It stands like a fulcrum, or the middle of a seesaw, to balance the two halves of this haiku. But ironically in this particular work the word itself is ambiguous – is it the boat that rocks, or are there physical rocks? And so on that word, the interpretation of the poem itself "rocks", it moves and shifts up and down.
July 24th, 2013 at 11:39 am
Beautiful, Jim. Chimes perfectly with how I'm feeling right now.
July 24th, 2013 at 11:58 am
between sky and sea
he walks with light feet
with feet of light
July 24th, 2013 at 4:06 pm
I so agree with Helen Buckingham! This is how I am feeling right now too and very aptly captured. I hope to reach the shore in one piece.
July 24th, 2013 at 5:38 pm
I love the cleverness of construction of this poem, Jim.
The single line format makes the poem itself into a picture of the scene for us – like a boat on the horizon. The middle of the poem is the word "rocks". It stands like a fulcrum, or the middle of a seesaw, to balance the two halves of this haiku. But ironically in this particular work the word itself is ambiguous – is it the boat that rocks, or are there physical rocks? And so on that word, the interpretation of the poem itself "rocks", it moves and shifts up and down.
Stunning effect. Wonderful poem. Great job Jim
Strider
July 24th, 2013 at 7:56 pm
Wow.
July 24th, 2013 at 10:07 pm
A contemporary haiku of sabi. Evocative. Nicely executed with a wonderful image of the small light.
July 26th, 2013 at 1:31 pm
So visual. I love this.
July 27th, 2013 at 3:46 pm
this small ache and all the rain too robinsong
Alan Summers
Modern Haiku vol. 44.1 winter/spring 2013
April 21st, 2020 at 10:40 am
open ocean
between the sonar’s pings
moonless night