day long drizzle —
in the mailbox
one windowed envelope


9 Responses

  1. Alan Summers Says:

    day long drizzle —
    in the mailbox
    one windowed envelope

    —Bouwe Brouwer

    This resonates so strongly with me, from the simple set up line, that is both a natural history image, but contains layers of mood, to the sometimes dreaded 'window' envelope.

    I have mixed feelings about inversions, but Bouwe Brouwer's order of lines in the phrasal part of the haiku are well-considered and judged.

    An excellent use of a concrete nature image alongside an urban concrete image that has so much hidden depth because of the juxtaposion of those two images.

    warm regards,

    Alan, With Words

  2. Bouwe Brouwer Says:

    Thanks Alan! But can you explain to me what you mean with inversions. I think i'm not familiar with that term, or maybe it's just a language barrier.

  3. Alan Summers Says:

    Inversions just means inverting a logical order into another e.g.

    one windowed envelope
    in the mailbox

    This suggests a logical order of words but sometimes in a poem we can alter the order.

    e.g.

    in the mailbox
    one windowed envelope

  4. Bouwe Brouwer Says:

    Ah, i see what you mean. Thanks.

  5. Sheila Sondik Says:

    I like the sense of time in this haiku. The day long drizzle's effect is almost cinematic. I felt the suspense of the dreary day building to what is most likely (but not definitely – checks are sent in windowed envelopes) unwelcome news, its effect unsoftened by any other pieces of correspondence.

  6. Malinda Says:

    Ya learn sohmteing new everyday. It’s true I guess!

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