I find an old letter
from my mother
dead four years –
we’re doing fine, she says;
we’ve had a little rain


11 Responses

  1. Theresa C. Says:

    Very poignant. This struck a chord with me. I often find cards from my mom, now deceased four years ago, tucked away in drawers. Yes, that rain…

  2. Iris Says:

    extremely moving

  3. Isak Kempe Says:

    Hauntingly beautiful. I, too, have known that rain.

  4. Lynne Says:

    So subtle and understated. And movingly beautiful.

  5. Alan Summers Says:

    Lightly done. Excellent work.

    warm regards,
    Alan

  6. Ross Says:

    Powerful.

  7. seaviewwarrenpoint Says:

    Striking! I think the ordinariness of the last line in contrast with death is what makes it so.

    marion

  8. haikuapprentice Says:

    Incredibly poignant tanka, Roger.
    Quite apart from the beautiful sabi content, I am struck by how you have worked the rhythm in this poem. The first 3 lines begin with what appear to be a recovery from shock – 6 syllables, 4 syllables and an almost funereal finality in the 3 syllables in line 3 – "dead four years-" But then the poem opens again into the naturalness of conversation. The effect is uplifting and joyful.

    Truly moving and powerful, Roger. Thank you for sharing.

    Strider

  9. sanjuktaa Says:

    Absolutely beautiful!

  10. whiprwill Says:

    Thanks, everyone, for the wonderful feedback! RJ

  11. snakypoet Says:

    Poignant!

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