Well, what can I say? ;) This is a Norah Johnson haiku, even before I start to comment. ;)
The concluding 'phrase' ramps up the first line, and vice versa. There's more than just poignancy, sadness, time lost and wasted, there is a chill in the poem to start the hairs on the back of our neck to start to rise.
*
street attack –
I hold the young girl
through her convulsions
Alan Summers
Publications credits: World Haiku Review vol. 2: Issue 3 (2002); Short Stuff vol 2, Issue 1, (2003)
Alan, thanks so much for your great comments :-) Love 'ramps up' – it captures the inexorable escalation of a bad argument.
*
street attack –
I hold the young girl
through her convulsions
Alan Summers
And this is an Alan Summer's haiku ;-)
For me this poem highlights how fragile any one of our lives is. I get a strong sense of the dislocation that occurs when something private and personal plays out in public. And the humanity of helping someone who is that vulnerable. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you Lynne. I like 'hopeless arguments' because it highlights that moment when you realize it's futile to keep on arguing, or that the thing you are arguing about can't be resolved.
Thanks again.
Reading the little gems on tinywords have inspired me to improve my own haiku. There's just something so captivating about comparing human nature to that of mother nature – it makes you look at things differently.
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December 9th, 2014 at 12:27 pm
This is lovely. The first line such an appropriate image for those hopeless arguments.
December 9th, 2014 at 1:20 pm
.
weeping plums –
another fight
about nothing
—NORAH JOHNSON
Well, what can I say? ;) This is a Norah Johnson haiku, even before I start to comment. ;)
The concluding 'phrase' ramps up the first line, and vice versa. There's more than just poignancy, sadness, time lost and wasted, there is a chill in the poem to start the hairs on the back of our neck to start to rise.
*
street attack –
I hold the young girl
through her convulsions
Alan Summers
Publications credits: World Haiku Review vol. 2: Issue 3 (2002); Short Stuff vol 2, Issue 1, (2003)
.
December 10th, 2014 at 1:12 am
Alan, thanks so much for your great comments :-) Love 'ramps up' – it captures the inexorable escalation of a bad argument.
*
street attack –
I hold the young girl
through her convulsions
Alan Summers
And this is an Alan Summer's haiku ;-)
For me this poem highlights how fragile any one of our lives is. I get a strong sense of the dislocation that occurs when something private and personal plays out in public. And the humanity of helping someone who is that vulnerable. Thanks for sharing.
December 11th, 2014 at 10:30 pm
Thanks Norah. The girl got better, though I also had to flag the ambulance down, as things were chaotic.
kind regards,
Alan
December 10th, 2014 at 1:24 am
Thank you Lynne. I like 'hopeless arguments' because it highlights that moment when you realize it's futile to keep on arguing, or that the thing you are arguing about can't be resolved.
Thanks again.
Norah
December 10th, 2014 at 9:34 am
Reading the little gems on tinywords have inspired me to improve my own haiku. There's just something so captivating about comparing human nature to that of mother nature – it makes you look at things differently.
December 17th, 2014 at 5:51 pm
So much conveyed in so few words. Perfectly crafted and a pure delight to read. :)
May 10th, 2016 at 10:42 pm
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March 24th, 2017 at 5:03 am
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