u         n

  z      i

    p p

      i

     n

     g

   her

  dress

     f

     a

     l

     l

     s


16 Responses

  1. d. f. tweney Says:

    I love this. Sexy!

  2. Garry Says:

    Leaves me speechless!

  3. papagreenbean Says:

    the candle flickers—
    soft piano plays
    outside

  4. E Rad Says:

    So creative. Unique style…and so understood yet open to pondering. Exciting to see the venture out of norms.

  5. Annette Yuki Makino Says:

    An elegant and evocative concrete poem!

  6. Mike Schoenburg Says:

    Dave,
    Love your creative haiku!

    OUTDOOR DRAMA

    Bali beach
    full moon on
    full moon

  7. seaviewwarrenpoint Says:

    Clever concrete ku, Dave! :)

    marion

  8. chief276 Says:

    Nicely done

    her red kimono
    slipping off her shoulder . . .
    she lets it

    Bill Kenney

  9. Michael Ritter Says:

    Very nice. I must say though, it mirrors the style of E. E. Cummings greatly! The way it is written and worded… If I didn’t know better I might’ve thought it WAS one of his! Lol
    Very well done!

  10. pdfrench Says:

    Great piece!

  11. Dave Read Says:

    Thanks everyone. I appreciate all of your kind comments.

  12. haikuapprentice Says:

    Wonderful Dave! As aesthetically beautiful as it is poetically. And I'm so glad the Tinywords html code formatting was able to preserve all the nuance as well as the visual charm of this one.

    Strider

  13. Peter Says:

    oh yeah, poetry's supposed to be fun

  14. Maria Says:

    Wonderful; I can see her shape as well as the dress.

  15. @andreochka Says:

    Great concrete haiku… well done!

  16. hammerandtongs Says:

    Visual wizardry. And a concrete poem.

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