in foreclosure
the dream house
we didn’t buy


15 Responses

  1. Mike Schoenburg I Says:

    Like your dream house poem!

    my own backyard

    I forget

    to love it

  2. jublke Says:

    Mike, I hope you are sitting out there tonight, writing poetry. :)

  3. Alan Summers Says:

    .
    Intriguing how important is the addition of the preposition:

    in foreclosure
    the dream house
    we didn’t buy

    —JULIE BLOSS KELSEY
    .
    Without 'in' the poem would be almost spiteful, but with 'in' it's more a sad financial fact of the dreamer; the owner; and economic situations locally, regionally, and nationally.
    .
    A deeply poignant senryu. I''m currently running an online senryu workshop (sold out), where the examples being workshopped show how equally powerful well crafted senryu are; and can certainly be on an equal pegging with haiku.
    .
    .
    warmest regards,
    Alan
    .

  4. jublke Says:

    Thanks, Alan. That's an excellent point about the use of prepositions, and one that I didn't consider when I was writing this. I did come from a place of wistful sadness rather than spite.

  5. Alan Summers Says:

    Dear Julie,

    It was very clear you were wistful, thinking only good for the owners, and sad that it had been a dream house for you, but realising even for someone else, it was too much.

    It's not just haiku and senryu, but single words can make or break longer poetry, or even important opening lines for short stories, and novels.

    Well judged writing.

    warmest regards,

    Alan

  6. Isabella Says:

    the last chapter
    in foreclosure
    my dream, deferred

  7. jublke Says:

    That's probably a better way to approach things – a dream deferred rather than a dream denied.

  8. Isabella Says:

    Thank you, Julie! Your poem is very beautiful, with many layers of meaning, thought provoking. I love it!

  9. V. Ranaldi-Adams Says:

    I like the twist in the last line – well-written

  10. jublke Says:

    Thanks! :)

  11. Carol Bloss Says:

    I loved it! It has happened to me and I was sad I didn't get the house. Mom

  12. jublke Says:

    Love you, Mom!

  13. Mike Schoenburg I Says:

    Thanks, Julie~~~

    Last week relaxing @ Atlantic Sea:

    afternoon ocean waves~~~
    the falling sun
    burns the sand

  14. aniketnik Says:

    Time flies and world changes. How soon the change happens it's a reminder of the same. Hope, dreams and expectations are part of life and will remain in life as long as life remains. Bottomline is never give up in life.

  15. Marion Clarke Says:

    The narrator was not destined to own this house and, sadly, neither was the previous owner. A dream denied in different ways. For some the desire is too great and they just have to go for it, whatever the risk.

    marion

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