neon motel sign —
concrete slab scoured
by desert wind


10 Responses

  1. Pravat Says:

    An interesting poem depicting the interference of modernity and natural entity. Some of my haiku and tanka on 'desert' are as follows:

    mourning
    in lonely desert wind—
    a widow tree

    Sketchbook, Vol 6, No.1, Jan-Feb, 2011

    *****
    stretched desert
    gentle shift of the shadow
    of a lean branch

    Simply Haiku, Summer 2011, Vol. 9, No.3&4

    *****
    desert marathon—
    for a moment I look back
    my footprints

    Mainichi News, 7.11.20

    *****

    in long desert
    breeze swings from
    the crest to valley
    I march with lonely shadow as
    footprints fill the shifting sand

    Chrysanthemum 12, October 2012

    **** **** ****

  2. guest Says:

    Thank you for your comments on this website. They are always interesting to me. I am not a contributing poet, just a haiku fan.

  3. Mike Schoenburg Says:

    Don’t need adjective ‘neon’;

    most motels signs are that way.

    afternoon waves~~~

    the falling sun

    shadows the sand

  4. d. f. tweney Says:

    Mike– tinywords is not a workshop site. The comments here are for reactions and responses, preferably in the form of haiku, tanka, or other short poems. Please don't use this space for critiques.

    As every page on this site says, below the comments: "We encourage readers to leave responses to the poems published on tinywords. We're especially excited about responses that take the form of your own haiku or short poems, but comments are also welcome, if they are short and polite."

  5. Guest Says:

    Thank you for (repeatedly) making this comment. The negative critiques are not as interesting as the honest responses and poems.

  6. Debbie Says:

    I can so see this! And feel it. Wonderful!

    ——

    the wind eemoves
    all signs
    tornado alley

  7. seaviewwarrenpoint Says:

    Like a shot from a Hitchcock film! The use of "scoured" is effective.

  8. George Says:

    Good job, Korie. Perfectly captures the metaphysical spirit of road trips and ghostly images of long-abandoned motels in the middle of nowhere. Love it!

  9. janewilliams Says:

    Terrific, immediately creates the transient atmosphere of a desert highway motel. Love it.

    motel vacancy winking neon between dust storms

  10. Anitha Varma Says:

    Transported me immediately to the scene…enjoyed this!

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