Airport bars are hell
A line of thunderstorms
Make mine a double

—John Dallas
        

One of many haiku on the theme of "holiday traveling" written during the Roving Girl Caroling Cocktail party, Dec. 4, 2000, in SF.

Responses to the haiku for 21 December 2000 by John Dallas

  1.  
    Zhanna P. Rader
    2003-03-06 19:45:41
     

    It looks to me that you are not showing as much as telling. Did you try to say (to show) it differently? Zhanna

  2.  
    2003-03-07 17:52:45
     

    I beg forgiveness if I am completely wrong, but I suspect Zhanna is missing a linguistic subtlety here, english not being her/his mother tongue.
    Line 1 is telling, sure.

    But what about:
    A line of thunderstorms
    Make mine a double

    This sounds like two distinct sentences, with the last reading like John's order to the barman. However, I read it as a single sentence, with the storms making his order a double, leaving us with a (I imagine) deliberate ambiguity between 'telling' and 'showing'.

  3.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-12-22 00:01:45
     

    traveler's haven
    a drink in hand -

    coming in out of the rain

  4.  
    Richard Goring
    2003-12-30 07:58:54
     

    Surely both Zhanna and Norman are missing the 'linguistic subtlety' here! 'Make mine a double' may be an order to a barman, but the implicit meaning here is that both airport bars and a line of thunderstorms make a traveller's life hell.

  5.  
    Narayanan Raghunathan (mahashishta at hotmail dot com)
    2004-01-26 00:16:53
     

    thunderstorm~
    planes at rest dazzle
    in watery mazes

    lightning showers~
    lonely beggar plays
    the bamboo flute

    rains splash light~
    rainbow umbrellas
    traverse the winds

    drenched in rain
    ancient lovers dance
    midnight ecstasy

  6.  
    john tiong chunghoo (bagiruang at yahoo dot com)
    2004-02-05 02:03:47
     

    world gone mad
    beijing airport staff
    gives way to a white woman jumping queue

  7.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2004-05-01 18:58:21
     

    food for thought
    missing plane's departure ...
    my reflection in the glass

    -

  8.