approaching storm --
his daughter hasn't told him
about the car dent
—Deborah P. Kolodji
About the author: Deborah P. Kolodji
Pasadena, California
dkolodji at aol.com
Deborah P Kolodji is the President of the Science Fiction Poetry Association and the editor of Amaze: The Cinquain Journal.
Her work has appeared in many journals, both on and off the web. Unfinished Book, her chapbook of haiku, cinquains, and other short poems, was published by Shadows Ink Publications.
Clever and witty. Nice element of surprise.
This is a very interesting perspective.
You'd rather expect:
approaching storm --
hasn't told her dad
about the car dent
since it's the daughter who knows of the approaching storm.
So we have a situation where the central actor - the dad - doesn't even know about this approaching (non-)climatic event, that we've been let in on.
Nice tension, very effective.
storm approaching
another ...
catches her eye
open secret
his preference to keep quiet
about his sexual orientation
horns sound
somewhere in the tunnel --
the all's clear signal
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