still pond -
  the 
    gentle 
  curve 
of the swan's neck


—Sue Mill
        

About the author: Sue Mill, suemill at hotmail dot com
Brisbane, Australia

I have been writing haiku for about six years. I belong to one haiku group here in Brisbane and am involved with the newly-formed Australian Haiku Society (HaikuOz for short) as Publications Officer. Here is the HaikuOz Web site.

 

Responses to the haiku for 10 March 2003 by Sue Mill

  1.  
    2003-03-10 12:24:12
     

    A lovely image Sue. Very nice visual.

  2.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-03-10 12:36:36
     

    good, sue

  3.  
    Helen Kinsella (helekin at webtv dot net)
    2003-03-10 18:49:38
     

    Sue, I love the image you provided by the placement of the Haiku on the page. Helen

  4.  
    Margaret Hehman-Smith (hehmansmith at earthlink dot net)
    2003-03-10 23:20:59
     

    A delightful, descriptive haiku. I could see the swan's neck. Margaret

  5.  
    Chloe (dahlia23 at eudoramail dot com)
    2003-03-24 04:12:52
     

    Beautiful. =) I could almost picture a beatiful swan here.

  6.  
    Ellen G. Olinger (ElinGrace at wi dot rr dot com)
    2003-03-25 17:16:32
     

    Very nice, especially when the story of the "ugly duckling" is recalled.

  7.  
    martin (martin51144 at comcast dot net)
    2003-03-31 22:56:06
     

    morning breeze
    the curve of an egret's shadow

  8.  
    W.E.G.
    2003-09-03 19:21:12
     

    I, too, liked your visual haiku. But we are not suppose to use judgemental words in haiku even those with a positive judgement such as 'gentle'.
    Would you consider:
    still pond
    the long
    curve
    of the swan's
    neck
    Thanks for sharing it.

  9.  
    2003-09-04 02:06:13
     

    WEG did you 'judge' the swan's neck to be long - even without seeing it? Of course you did since its a given, but Sue is being no more 'judgmental' when she uses 'gentle' to describe the curve of the bird's neck. The curve of a swan's neck is gentle (unless of course it's represented by formatted linebreaks in a haiku!)

    email

  10.  
    Vasile Moldovan (vasilemoldovan at yahoo dot com)
    2004-05-29 23:23:26
     

    Insistent pecks -
    under the hatching swan hen
    chikens breaking the eggs, shells

  11.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2004-06-04 14:38:06
     

    morning silence
    my whispered words ~
    follow the gentle curve of her breast
    ==================================

    humorous thought, the battle is prolonged, show not tell, be not judgemental ...

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