rush hour traffic:
from the pick-up bed
a recliner faces me


—Shawn M. Davis
        

About the author: Shawn M. Davis is editor of Cenotaph Pocket Editions. She teaches flashfiction and haibun at Southern Oregon University. Her fiction has appeared in Poet's Canvas and Sugar Mule. Her haiku will appear in upcoming issues of Frogpond and bottle rockets.

 

Responses to the haiku for 12 March 2003 by Shawn M. Davis

  1.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-03-12 08:29:53
     

    good things never seem to come in pairs. as was the case of reading the daily haiku, two days of reading instantaneous reflections on life's momentary moments was interrupted by a fender bender.
    after line one, i found myself spiralling down, down, down... wondering, no pondering, if and would a life preserver be thrown my way. yet i heard a siren in the distance, as though an ambulance had been dispatched to assist me.
    as i've said before, i love a bad haiku. it does things to my thought process, far from the pat on the head or the soothing touch from a good haiku.

    there i was, stuck in traffic, horns blaring, drivers swearing, sensing what appeared to be an endless line, fumbling with the radio, trying to think ahead of getting home or where ever my destination seemingly loomed ahead, as the proverbial carrot on the stick. i had gotten the picture.
    then came the cold bucket of water or was it a slap in the face, not once, but twice.
    questions were generated, questions were raised, with no answers in sight. i resigned myself to the possibility of during the rush hour there had been a collision, and the people involved, all had a haiku in mind. what was then formed was a collusion or worse yet, individuals stuck somewhere in time and deciding to join forces. yes, joining forces to ram this haiku through. i immediately call my insurance carrier to make sure my policy was still in force.
    if my words aren't clear, allow me to try again, i am at wits ends about lines two and three. trying to be kind, gave birth to a haiku.


    today's newspaper...
    tomorrow, read on the floor
    from parakeet's perch


    yes, there is nothing akin to a bad haiku. they do make my days.

  2.  
    shirley weese
    2003-03-12 13:47:50
     

    I don't mind this haiku, in fact I kind of like it. I've been there in traffic facing sofas, kitchen furniture, etc. Especially near the end of the month. At least it was a recliner and not a garbage can. Who is this bob richardson anyway?

  3.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-03-12 15:46:03
     

    shirley, i, too, am a reader. it is astoundingly amazing when opinions are au contraire, how excitable the audience gets. first, their being nearly in a stupor. then, thinking the most sacrilegious, impious, profane, disrespectful act has taken place, simply because they have been unceremoniously jarred awake from one's (not you) incoherent slumber and from having taken in the literary work as though it was a barbiturate.

    from my "opinion", there just might be something of a justification in what you like.
    in your words, "i don't mind", what is one apt to put up with, "i kind of", are we not sure. in being outspoken, not only am i ready to partake of the crusade, i stand equally ready to defend. surprisingly, they both are equally monotonous, other than one's plane of reference.
    this playing field is where similarity is thought to be lost rather than inherently found, sadly.

    shirley, from your analogy, better yet, for the broadness of it's meaning, or from my interpretation of your words, better serving, from your conformity, i feel you are a nice person. yet i am not here to judge you by any means. two paths have simply been lead into a conjuncture. how important or critical or what is to await the travelers pass this point in time...
    i must stop abruptly, for i have begun to waver from our critiques of the haiku.

    though being offered as rebuttal, and once again, in "my" humane impression, i feel a haiku is comparable to a one act play, no less, being too brief, which in turn generate questions, nor any more, being abundantly wordy, while leaving nothing to the imagination. a story in it's simplistic form has been told, shared, vividly expressed and "possibly" understood as though one was there. i never knew a haiku to have a sequel, which is what is being suggested when, after reading a haiku, should questions arise.
    (whew)

    who am i, was the question you raised, shirley. at times i wonder, falling way short of a know it all, if only i were...

    next

  4.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-03-12 15:51:16
     

    shirley, i would have responded sooner, however...

    " stuck in traffic...
    endless drone...
    of minds "

  5.  
    2003-03-12 17:53:00
     

    wow. brevity has its virtue outside of haiku too.

  6.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-03-12 22:50:47
     

    not necessarily so, norman.
    brevity: the state or character of being brief; shortness; conciseness; terseness.
    norman, this is well for the written haiku, but once a discussion is underway, to be brief can be unjust and/or misleading, to the point of even losing sight of the topic of discussion.
    to meander into other fields shows one lack of ammunition for an ongoing argument/debate. to flounder aimlessly is represented in the request for brevity.
    "i feel" to thoroughly discuss even a haiku, one should be willing to delve on far pass the three lines. then, one can widen one's insight, and/or one's insight will be widen to the point of producing unequal material, or being in a position of carefully examining the works and one's opinion will be valued.

    brevity alone, can not stand alone, can not carry the burden alone, for full understanding will be abused, misused, insulted, hampered and trampled upon; then a voice will echo, "i fooled you again", followed by laughter...


    next

  7.  
    Sue Mill
    2003-03-14 01:12:39
     

    this one went right past me the first time i read it...huh ???
    i just re-read it, and the penny dropped.. we dont have pick-ups in Australia we have the ubiquitous Ute (short for utility) once i had transferred the recliner to the Ute....no problem !!
    Sue

  8.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2004-06-04 15:09:41
     

    norman,
    once again, i find myself laughing, did i say all that. hahaha


    trust all is well with you and yours.

    --

    in hindsight sue, to me, also, it was perfectly clear

    --


    rainfall -
    sheen of the penny
    face washed

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