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Responses to the haiku for 18 March 2003 by Shirley Weese

1.  
   Craig McLanachan (cramar at actrix dot co dot nz)
   2003-03-19 01:12:20
    

   Good poem. The 'murder' of crows has impact. I would have used the lower case for March ie march.
   A capital here looks out of place ( only my opinion).Well done.

2.  
   bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
   2003-03-19 06:34:32
    

   upon reading, the movie of the same title came to mind. albeit, the mood and frame work were set, a fully developed moment in time had been locked in my rational .
   i fear having read craig's comments, my thoughts were focused on his words. perhaps i should have looked past and focused on the haiku instead.
   
   for lack of something better to do at this instant, might i offer some rambling thoughts.
   
   i was wondering craig, maybe, just maybe the author usage of the upper case "M" was for double the effect, hmmm, i ponder, could it be double the affect... or as others have explained while addressing other pieces, it's usage being "a turn of phrase, leaving to one's imagination and contemplation, i don't mind, i think i like it, and i reread it..."
   
   how fickle the thought process. craig, i give you credit, you set these thoughts in motion.
   
   i call upon norman, a mercy slap, to enable me to regain my focus.
   ahhh yes, thanks for the slap, norman, and i heard your whisper, "bob, brevity please".
   
   
   
   "breather being taken here"
   
   
   
   i read again, the haiku at hand, other than being a tad bit wordy, it was not demoted to the labelling as being bad. i think i like it.
   
   and yet, .... here i go again.
   i reread the piece anew. with a little sprucing up we'd have a haiku here.
   
   case in point:
   
   March storm resigned...
   
   walking tide line
   murder of crows
   
   
   darn, craig, my eyes were drawn to the upper case "M". then, i imagined marching crows...
   
   
   then i remembered the word norman whispered...
   "brevity"
   
   it's good to have and good to offer an opinion...

3.  
   Kathleen
   2003-03-19 10:10:23
    

   Beautiful! Perfect!

4.  
   Ann K. Schwader
   2003-03-19 11:13:58
    

   Lovely, chilling, & effective. Thank you.

5.  
   Chloe (dahlia23 at eudoramail dot com)
   2003-03-24 04:05:45
    

   well, the poem reminded how I was frightened. but all in all i like the haiku. =) It has that chilly effect in you after you read it.. it's like you wanted to know more what happened about him... =)

6.  
   Guy
   2003-03-27 14:11:40
    

   Punchy, and evocative. I'm in favor of more haiku with the word "murder" in it.

7.  
   bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
   2004-06-04 19:23:43
    

   june wedding shower:
   the smell
   of freshly falling rain
   
   -

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