after a March storm
walking the tide line
a murder of crows


—Shirley Weese
        

About the author: Shirley Weese
sweese at island dot net

I live in Victoria B.C. and have been writing haiku for years. I also write poetry, short stories and occasionally work on a never ending mystery novel.

 

Responses to the haiku for 18 March 2003 by Shirley Weese

  1.  
    Craig McLanachan (cramar at actrix dot co dot nz)
    2003-03-19 01:12:20
     

    Good poem. The 'murder' of crows has impact. I would have used the lower case for March ie march.
    A capital here looks out of place ( only my opinion).Well done.

  2.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-03-19 06:34:32
     

    upon reading, the movie of the same title came to mind. albeit, the mood and frame work were set, a fully developed moment in time had been locked in my rational .
    i fear having read craig's comments, my thoughts were focused on his words. perhaps i should have looked past and focused on the haiku instead.

    for lack of something better to do at this instant, might i offer some rambling thoughts.

    i was wondering craig, maybe, just maybe the author usage of the upper case "M" was for double the effect, hmmm, i ponder, could it be double the affect... or as others have explained while addressing other pieces, it's usage being "a turn of phrase, leaving to one's imagination and contemplation, i don't mind, i think i like it, and i reread it..."

    how fickle the thought process. craig, i give you credit, you set these thoughts in motion.

    i call upon norman, a mercy slap, to enable me to regain my focus.
    ahhh yes, thanks for the slap, norman, and i heard your whisper, "bob, brevity please".



    "breather being taken here"



    i read again, the haiku at hand, other than being a tad bit wordy, it was not demoted to the labelling as being bad. i think i like it.

    and yet, .... here i go again.
    i reread the piece anew. with a little sprucing up we'd have a haiku here.

    case in point:

    March storm resigned...

    walking tide line
    murder of crows


    darn, craig, my eyes were drawn to the upper case "M". then, i imagined marching crows...


    then i remembered the word norman whispered...
    "brevity"

    it's good to have and good to offer an opinion...

  3.  
    Kathleen
    2003-03-19 10:10:23
     

    Beautiful! Perfect!

  4.  
    Ann K. Schwader
    2003-03-19 11:13:58
     

    Lovely, chilling, & effective. Thank you.

  5.  
    Chloe (dahlia23 at eudoramail dot com)
    2003-03-24 04:05:45
     

    well, the poem reminded how I was frightened. but all in all i like the haiku. =) It has that chilly effect in you after you read it.. it's like you wanted to know more what happened about him... =)

  6.  
    Guy
    2003-03-27 14:11:40
     

    Punchy, and evocative. I'm in favor of more haiku with the word "murder" in it.

  7.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2004-06-04 19:23:43
     

    june wedding shower:
    the smell
    of freshly falling rain

    -

  8.