lengthening shadows
the fisherman casts
his reflection


—Graham Nunn
        

About the author: Graham Nunn is a Queensland born poet who has had haiku published in international journals paper wasp and yellow moon and on tinywords.com. Recently he received a highly commended in the Seed Pearls International Yellow Moon Literary Competition, for his haiku. He also recently won the Yellow Moon renga competition writing with Rowan Donovan and the 2002 Jack Stamm haiku competiton.

e-mail contact kilbey at optusnet.com.au

 

Responses to the haiku for 20 March 2003 by Graham Nunn

  1.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-03-20 03:49:03
     

    me think, i should have saved my "looking inwardly from the inside" for this piece.

    graham stumbled across a great piece, that should have turned out to be a masterfully perceived haiku. in this "entire world" there are gems awaiting, and yet everything that glitters is not gold.
    in reading graham's work, i saw all sorts of possibilities, in reading it, i saw how he was to stumble. then rethinking, i reflected on it being a haiku "of sorts".

    the first line was so divine. i could picture the sun having raced across the sky and was now heading towards sunset, as it stretched the shadow away from it's caster, to the point of pulling it asunder, and dragging it away, as it protested in silence, into the land where dusk does reside.
    there he was, the proverbial fisherman casting his lot. then it happened...
    i saw what his net was bearing, or was trying to capture. and yet, it had come up empty, had it snared his image as it mirrored on the water.
    i understood where he was trying to go, or was it to be where he was trying to get, but i had to brace myself to keep from stumbling, also.

    in reflecting, me think, graham had read the aforementioned poem, while it's birth was still within my mind...

    at times we do try to be overtly clever, beyond the need.

    simplicity, simplicity, simplicity.
    (did i hear someone snicker, "brevity, brevity, brevity". the mind does tricks, sometimes)
    it would have resulted in a masterful piece.
    being "pedant", i see a word that i am sensing is to be of great value as time unwinds, practical reasoning is being stepped over, while attempting to create the superfluous, and tis a pity.

    case in point:

    lengthen silhouettes...
    fisherman casts...
    his shadow


    upon digesting the original work, i felt this out of body experience. upon which i heard a voice solemnly say, "bob, stay away from the light"...

  2.  
    2003-03-20 18:21:24
     

    Nicely presented. Good visual and transition. No stumbling here.

  3.  
    Sue Mill
    2003-03-20 18:30:39
     

    well done Graham....
    good to see another paperwasp member on here
    http://users.bigpond.net.au/ReportWright/PaperWasp/PaperWasp.html

    Sue

  4.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-03-21 00:10:18
     

    uniquely, i appear to be on the supporting negative side of the comments presented.
    after reading the previous comments offered by deborah and sue, their words were being held up to the light, because of their words suspicious nature.
    i find myself even more entrenched in the position generated by my critique. in weighing deborah's words, i found my thoughts being uttered aloud, "how so was this piece nicely written".

    to be cont.

  5.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-03-21 00:15:20
     

    continuing:

    i feel my words may have been skimmed over, without any serious consideration being given, due to the objections on my part.
    my assessment seemingly preponderates sue and deborah's evaluations, for they were classified bantamweights, for lack of substance.

    as previously stated i could see where graham was headed, and he had gotten there, but it was the manner of his "presentation" that left me with an out of body experience.
    remember, i used the word "simplicity". i feel upon his examining his work or someone examining his work, a decision was made to spruce it up a bit.
    "reflection" is related to the ability to "cast" or direct back from a surface. that's quite a feat for a fisherman to cast his reflection, perchance he wore mirrors...

    i wish deborah had shared and expanded her understanding, more so, if only to enlighten me.

    to be cont.

  6.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-03-21 00:18:52
     

    continuing:

    at times we stumble, but contribute it to the path being at fault, rather than our feet, speech, or mind; then we say, "it wasn't me at fault".
    with sue's "well done" i pondered what was to be my meal for the day, should i cook in or eat out. once again, to give an accolade, it should be qualified by mentioning it worthiness through presenting the proper credentials of why it merits such honors, other than being an associate member.



    the true scholar's mind bears no locks, in his humble mannerism, he shakes off flattery, for his mind exhibits a welcome sign, in it's quest for the endless existing knowledge, which one is never to know it all, though temporarily quieting his thirst for the previously unknown.

    one, over the course of time, realizing the more one learns, the more one realizes there is much more to learn.

    to be cont.

  7.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-03-21 00:20:00
     

    in continuing:


    at some juncture in one's life, one will say willingly, "it is time to enjoy what one is or has been exposed to".
    it has been written, "at some point one should merely smell the roses", and i add, "admire them from a distance, out of reach".

    for the journey in life is made worthy by enjoying the journey, as oppose to one's destination. yet if the scenery leaves one uncomfortable, one shouldn't sit in ignorance acceptance, as the proverbial "bump on the log", while just going along for the ride.



    "brevity perplexed...
    clamoring to be set free...
    one more thought"



    the end

  8.  
    Deborah P Kolodji (dkolodji at aol dot com)
    2003-03-21 10:14:38
     

    I love the mood of this. As I read this haiku, I am reminded of fishing trips with my father. I see the lengthening shadows and I love the wordplay of the fisherman casting his reflection upon the lake as well as casting his hook into the water.

    - Deborah P. Kolodji

  9.  
    Chloe (dahlia23 at eudoramail dot com)
    2003-03-24 04:01:56
     

    I love the haiku. To me, it seems you could almost hear the fisherman's thoughts while fishing. how quiet and steady the fisherman is.... =)

  10.  
    Ellen G. Olinger (ElinGrace at wi dot rr dot com)
    2003-03-27 08:27:30
     

    A nice image. Perhaps the fisherman is growing older and meditating on the age he is now. Some time alone to think about the way things are going. Maybe it doesn't matter to him if he catches anything or not this day.

  11.  
    Guy
    2003-03-27 14:02:28
     

    My goodness, Bob. Those were a lot of words to expend on a very short, and quite good, poem. I didn't follow your critique and am okay with that.

  12.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-03-28 15:36:21
     

    1st an apology, dft, but i really really needed more space for this one.


    true, guy
    but as beauty is to be in the eyes of the beholder, at times when one is at a loss for words, it isn't that their mouth and mind have been left ajar. there is a third reason, and by no stretch of one's imagination might this be you, guy, they might not know what to say because of that overwhelming sensation of being in the dark .

    to say something is "good"
    to say something is "alright"
    to say something is "ok"
    all these things are reason enough for the one doing the one to two syllable thing, though limited it may be, but in my case i like to tear it apart, while seeing not only the outer but inner workings.

    to be cont.

  13.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-03-28 15:40:15
     

    in continuing guy


    if one can elaborate, not necessarily being you, guy, who knows, another may be won over, another may give an understanding to brighten your day, where upon one thought they knew it all, and in other instances, not necessarily you, guy, one may be a victim of one's own words and come to a new conclusion.

    to be satisfied within one's self, and this may be you, says it all.
    though this rarely is the case, and this may be you, also, guy.



    case in point:

    "shards of glass
    house fell asunder
    dropped rock from hand"

    in not following anything, and being okay with that, is one's prerogative.

    your wishes are exactly that, yours.
    my desires are exactly that, mine.

    sad(not necessarily you, guy) is the one who for lack of discernment goes off akin to a loose cannon.

    to be cont.

  14.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-03-28 15:45:20
     

    in continuing guy


    but to make a long comment even longer, that was the purpose of my comment in reference to "zazen", though i might be mistaken, and you are referring to another piece, even this one; forgive me, you, guy, were not explicit.

    one can say so much about somethings, and in actuality has said little. then again, one can say so little and has said "nothing".
    guy, it seems you may have some reading to do, to depreciate, not only my works, but others. who knows i could be wrong, and i would be the first to admit it.

    satisfaction and contentment might both come to mind, however, i'd rather be left with contentment, remember, this being me.

    guy, a pressing thought has come to mind, "what is your shoe size"...




    thanks dft, for not banning me, YET...

  15.  
    john tiong chunghoo
    2004-01-12 10:32:17
     

    sadists
    the fish jumps and twists
    to our delights

  16.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2004-06-04 19:45:13
     

    lengthening green leaves:
    the gardener
    reflects

    -

  17.