spring storm . . .
her hair is full of
white petals


—Harriot West
        

About the author: Harriot West (htwest at mindspring.com) is a poet and writer who lives in Eugene, Oregon.

 

Responses to the haiku for 7 April 2003 by Harriot West

  1.  
    Helga Härle
    2003-04-07 17:22:49
     

    very nice - airy - loose and connected - living space - sense of freedom - I like this haiku very much, well done

  2.  
    shirley weese (sweese at island dot net)
    2003-04-07 21:54:13
     

    I like this haiku too. I can see the image. Well done.

  3.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-04-07 22:31:13
     

    before presenting my comments, i was stopped in my tracks.
    between helga and shirley, they used approximately 30 words.
    now, i am wondering what they said, and what were their intentions.

    i am reminded of a critique i once read.

    it went something like this:

    "his style is lively, tender, pathetic, and affecting.
    it was his talent to write melancholy and moving elegies.
    never was a subject more worthy of tears.
    one would think every letter was written with a tear, and every word was the sob of a broken heart."

    take note helga and shirley.

    i will return later to assess this piece, on first, second, and third reading, i was left wondering...
    for no clear picture was drawn.

  4.  
    Kathy Mann
    2003-04-07 23:24:16
     

    Here's a comment in two words: Lovely image!
    (Sorry, Bob, guess I did see a clear picture...)

  5.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-04-08 07:27:21
     

    kathy,
    in two words, "why apologize".

    by the way, i am not ready to make comment on this piece, i am still feeling it. i know something is there, but not quite the way i've known it to be.

  6.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-04-08 16:50:28
     

    ok, i have given this piece some thorough thought.

    i saw two images.

    first line, "spring storm".
    some have to realize, i live in the hurricane zone. when i read the word "storm", i sense winds on the order of the 11th degree, or winds on the scale of 64-72 miles per hour, roughly 102-117 kilometers per hour.
    i may be slightly off, from these numbers you may get the point.

    this storm is raging.

    second and third lines, "her hair ... full of white petals"

    i can understand spring having inclement weather, pollen and petals, and both of the above getting into one's hair.

    however, with a storm in mind, i fear petals, would be blown off into never-never land, let alone having time to land in one's hair.

    this writing is conceivable, but, if i were harriet, i would tone the storm down.


    ready,

    case in point:

    spring winds...
    petals in the air
    and her hair


    being too liberal, literary works at any level would be raved about, unjustly undeserved.

  7.  
    Guy
    2003-04-09 18:43:02
     

    Bob is getting too much attention for being just a troll. I'm done reading him.

    In any case, I liked the poem but wonder about the words "full of" rather than "covered in". I assume the hair didn't absorb or otherwise ingest the petals... so "full of" seems something less than precise.

    The poem produced a vivid image for me though and I quite liked it.

  8.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-04-19 19:15:15
     

    "guy"

    i'm almost speechless.

    i trust we, both, say things as we see them.
    i hope the things i say, even though there are disagreements or my being lengthy, will not be set upon because of that, instead, point out where i might fall short. i have always been "accused" of being a romantic and a dreamer. yes, i even talk in my sleep.

    i look deeper than the superficial. i agree with you, i am extremely outspoken; while trying to be unerring, believe it or not it happens to me, more times than i'd like to admit. from all my faults, i try to learn, excited to take another turn at bat.

    i try to be more than "i like it, it was lovely, wonderful, it made my day, gets better and better, and etc.", don't think there is anything wrong with those words.

    someone admonished me to be explicit, i had forgotten words without reasons, lack conviction or portray the wrong image.

    by the way, this image of my being a troll, is it the dwarf or giant one.

  9.  
    john tiong chunghoo (bagiruang at yahoo dot com)
    2004-01-06 04:10:28
     

    remembering
    wordsworth's moment
    my hair swirling in the wind

  10.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2004-06-07 00:13:55
     

    tiny mounds of sawdust -

    the air
    full of termites


    -


    tiny white petals-
    migration at an end
    termites' wings


    -


    after the storm
    my mind --
    full of debris


    -

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