squirrels nest
at the top of the white birch
penthouse apartment


—Martin Mikelberg
        

About the author: Martin Mikelberg (onewe at aeitv.net) is a retired CPA, who worked for CW Industries as their V.P. of Finance before retiring after 31 years of employment. His hobbies include music (pennywhistles and harmonica), swimming, walking, writing haiku poetry, and collecting paperweights and glass whimseys. He has just been appointed International Treasurer of Questers, a group whose interests include the preservation and restoration of historic sites as well as an antique studies. He lives in Roslyn, PA.

 

Responses to the haiku for 11 April 2003 by Martin Mikelberg

  1.  
    deborah russell (sellwein at hotmail dot com)
    2003-04-12 11:00:42
     

    The top of the tree is emphasized by 'penthouse' apartment. A variation could be:

    squirrel's nest-
    a white birch
    it's penthouse

  2.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-04-12 12:54:57
     

    deborah, i see your point.
    left in it's original form, i'd wonder if there were other nests below, did he take the elevator or the stairs. thereby, ponderously wasting time, the author had a great vision, on the way up, perhaps, he became afraid of the heights, and began to grasp for more solid ground, and the rhetoric flourished.

    as you suggested, and even shifting a sentence or two around, could "spruce" things up.

    case in point:

    squirrel's nest-
    it's penthouse...
    a white birch


    and since penthouses are usually situated atop of structures, saying "atop" would be superfluous, obvious, self- evident, palpable, and apparent.

    i must say martin did capture the moment, and whet our appetite for more, as we visualized
    his sighting.

  3.  
    Guy
    2003-04-14 17:40:35
     

    It reads like a sentence. Missed me completely, I'm afraid.

  4.  
    Martin Mikelberg (onewe at comcast dot net)
    2003-04-14 20:13:39
     

    Just fascinated at the comments of my own haiku.
    It was written in the style of modern haiku - senryu, but honestly, it does not read like a sentence, especially with the comparison of the "penthouse apartment" which is the human counterpart to the home of the squirrel at the top of the white birch. As I wrote it, it seemed to me paridoxical that the squirrel like the human, enjoys being at the top looking down to the rest of the world. In that respect , we, the squirrle and man (or woman), share a similar desire to share the room at the top. Of course, the squirrel gets to do this for free, while we pay the highest amount for the top view. Martin Mikelberg, author

  5.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-04-16 10:17:02
     

    martin, i look forward to the author's comments.
    personally, i enjoyed your work. i took even more delight in your comment.
    style, and please do not take this to heart, style does not a haiku make. it is a combination of things. i will not try to school anyone here, just voice my opinion. as i had mentioned to deborah the other day, "it is difficult to educate the educated".

    true, it does not read as a sentence, though you must reflect on how many of us speak using incomplete sentences.

    true, in your comparison of squirrel to man, high residency.(hahaha, am i being incomplete with my sentences) only figuratively. oops, i missed the paradox part. you are right.

    NOW, in the squirrel and man's pleasure in heights, i wonder about the squirrel's enjoyment, or merely a fact of nature.

    to be continued

  6.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-04-16 10:18:32
     

    in continuing:

    martin, being a naturalist, i have seen the "price" the squirrel has had to pay, at times, for it's lofty pad.

    i see you are not a chauvinist, equal time for men and women. that is good.
    martin, give yourself a pat on the back, for your piece was thought provoking.

    thanks

  7.  
    john tiong chunghoo (bagiruang at yahoo dot com)
    2004-01-06 03:50:21
     

    forest resort
    eyeing our food
    monkeys on the trees

  8.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2004-06-07 17:17:53
     

    martin, your home town of roslyn caught my eye.
    i grew up in pa, towns with names such as osceola, nelson, & lawrenceville
    ---

    pigeons coo
    between the trestles ...
    a homeless man sleeps

  9.