white gusts
of faded apple blossom
still no rain


—Ann K. Schwader
        

originally published in Short Stuff, the August 2002 issue

About the author: Ann K. Schwader, schwader at earthlink.net, lives & writes & gardens in Westminster, CO. More about her work (including haiku!) can be found at www.geocities.com/HPL4ever/.

 

Responses to the haiku for 22 May 2003 by Ann K. Schwader

  1.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-05-23 20:52:48
     

    sentimental...
    strange, how a western came to mind, or rather how most of the better westerns end, someone riding off into the sunset.

    i pictured ann's words, oddly, i felt confusion within them, or better said, "trying to say so much with so little."

    major surgery.

    case in point:

    gusting wind, white...
    apple blossoms falling
    beckoned, by parched earth
    desiring rain


    ann, i pictured the moment.

  2.  
    Michael Meyerhofer (angry_seraph at yahoo dot com)
    2003-06-06 18:14:55
     

    I like the contrast of the first two lines--which create a beautiful, elegant image of nature--with the sadness of the last line. This also brought to mind the feeling one has when they know they're witnessing something beautiful, but are unable to appreciate it because of some pressing need (example, a farmer's need for water). In other words, the beauty of nature and our inability to wholly recognize and appreciate.

    The contrast was also a very effective way to emphasize the sadness and need in the final line.

    My only suggestion would be a dash (kireji) after the word "blossom", to further emphasize the contrast between natural beauty and human sadness (and need). Just a suggestion, though. Well done! :o)

  3.  
    john tiong chunghoo
    2004-01-04 08:33:54
     

    a show
    lying black clouds and wind
    no rain after all

  4.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2004-06-20 19:45:18
     

    rain
    and more rain --
    flowers too wet to bloom

    -

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