In the well
studying her image
a woman


—R K Singh
        

Previously published (March 2003) on I-ku Haiku.

About the author: Dr R K SINGH, Professor & Head,Dept of Humanities & Social Sciences, Indian School of Mines, Dhanbad 826004 India

Dr. Singh's home page

 

Responses to the haiku for 3 June 2003 by R K Singh

  1.  
    2003-06-03 14:05:09
     

    Simple, direct, clear. Well done.

  2.  
    Michael Meyerhofer (angry_seraph at yahoo dot com)
    2003-06-03 18:11:28
     

    I like the image of this poem very much, but I found the lines a bit too fragmented. I'd suggest switching "in the well" with "a woman" to make it a bit more coherent. Also, perhaps jazz up "in the well" a bit by changing it to "wishing well", or something like that? Just a suggestion! ;) Best wishes.

  3.  
    Norman Darlington
    2003-06-03 19:19:33
     

    I like this poem very much as it is. Michael's suggestion of

    a woman
    studying her image
    in the well


    seems to me to rob the poem of its separate images, its drama, its dénouement, to leave us with a rather pedestrian description of a single, albeit pretty, scene.

    The original haiku presents us with a taut shift of focus with each line. I wonder why the visual kireji (present in the original) was dropped for the tinywords version?

    Contact

  4.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-06-04 00:10:03
     

    deep...

    strange things do come to mind.
    i'll share, to answer your curiosity.

    as read, was she in the well, after having seen her image, from a distance, wanting a closer view.

    enough said on the subject.

  5.  
    R K Singh
    2003-06-04 05:49:32
     

    I must thank each of the readers of my haiku, but what Norman says is most appropriate as far as a change in the haiku is concerned.
    In fact if one goes to a village in India, and observes women drawing water from the well, one can also occasionally see them seeing their image in the water.It makes various impressions.

  6.  
    Ellen G. Olinger (ElinGrace at wi dot rr dot com)
    2003-06-04 08:51:23
     

    One idea is "Drawing water" as a line, and then the reader can picture the well. I have not been to India, but after reading the comments, passages from the Bible came to mind, and then I saw the poem a little more. It's a lovely mystery, isn't it, the way writers and readers communicate, in the present, and across time and cultures.

  7.  
    Stella Siador
    2003-06-04 15:31:23
     

    This haiku is stark and minimalist. It doesn't really move me, but I guess it's okay.

  8.  
    Bob Armstrong
    2003-06-05 00:57:02
     

    I liked this poem very much, I felt it.
    Thanks

  9.  
    Michael Meyerhofer (angry_seraph at yahoo dot com)
    2003-06-06 17:53:52
     

    Referencing Norman's comment, I agree that the kireji in the original version adds to the poem; somehow that simple dash seems to give the poem a greater life, a pause that sharpens the image of the woman gazing into the well.

    Not to beat a dead horse, but here's what I was thinking with my original suggestion:

    a woman
    studies her image--
    wishing well


    Best wishes!

  10.  
    W.E.G. (the_renga_master at hotmail dot ocm)
    2003-09-03 18:33:32
     

    Although i basically like this, i feel it can be made more specific. "image" is one of those words inbetween concrete & abstract; i suggest picking another noun which will make it stronger. Likewise what about 'into the well' or some other stronger adverb. I feel it has a lot of promise. Sorry but one cannot write 'wishing well' if it wasn't, the situation is rich enough without embellishing it.

  11.  
    john tiong chunghoo (bagiruang at yahoo dot com)
    2004-01-04 08:15:29
     

    killing two
    birds with a stone
    she checks herself with her CD

  12.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2004-06-21 19:35:52
     

    through my eyes --
    a lovely woman
    with low esteem

  13.  
    Narayanan Raghunathan (mahashishta at hotmail dot com)
    2004-07-30 06:57:26
     

    Gratitude for this memorable Haiku sir.

    fishes dance on
    mushroom clouds~sky with
    a sun in the well

    a stone dropped into
    the invisible well-depths ~
    a distant sound

    fullmoon galaxies
    afloat in our well~
    a frog croaks love

  14.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2005-01-01 14:10:57
     

    in the window
    dark and alluring eyes
    as i stumble, i fall


    -

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