glimpse of a deer --
I reach for my camera
too late


—Deborah P. Kolodji
        

About the author: Deborah P. Kolodji
Pasadena, California
dkolodji at aol.com

Deborah P Kolodji is the President of the Science Fiction Poetry Association and the editor of Amaze: The Cinquain Journal.

Her work has appeared in many journals, both on and off the web. Unfinished Book, her chapbook of haiku, cinquains, and other short poems, was published by Shadows Ink Publications.

 

Responses to the haiku for 9 July 2003 by Deborah P. Kolodji

  1.  
    2003-07-09 19:11:02
     
  2.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-07-10 13:49:22
     

    the thought has been imprinted in my consciousness, deborah's contemplating what i am about to say, even though there was this flash, as i weigh the contents of her creation.

    my thoughts are not fully "developed", as of this moment, on this piece.

    though norman's words are seemingly over-exposed, for lack of a better phrase; i am trying to understand the embodiment of his and others likes or dislikes, rather than a simple it's good, great juxtapose, nice, and well done. then, there's the point on if one offers the slightest suggestion on what might make a haiku a better haiku, there is this scent of tar in the air, while seeing the crowd anteing up their own feathers, for the infamous mixture.

    if norman has no negative feelings, perhaps he can bestow a clearer picture on what he is issuing forth.

    smiling, needing some cheese to cleanse the palate of my mental focusing, conceivably, this time tomorrow, there will issue forth a candid remark, if only, on my part

  3.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-07-11 07:18:17
     

    another day...

    where do i start.



    "glimpse of a deer --"

    innocent enough

    for some reason, i feel this should be the main focus of the haiku

    "I reach for my camera
    too late"

    i sense this time factor, of present and hindsight


    going back to the first line, what about a "glimpse" of the deer

    to me it is rather vague, while lacking the clarity, conciseness of what creates this instantaneous moment.

    second and third lines, i ponder how to make this succinct enough to place on one line


    "I reach for my camera
    too late"

    a tough one here.

    the flash goes off.


    "a great time for a two lines haiku"



    a deer's white tail

    focusing camera, fruitless


    deborah, what do you think...

  4.  
    Tanya Ruth Larson
    2003-07-15 13:18:42
     

    What are the odds? I got this link in an email from WinningWriters.com and I just happen to be browsing the "yesterday" haikus and there you are: Sol's Poet Laureate. My goodness, you get around don't you? lol. Love your Haiku, btw.

    Tanya

  5.  
    Kerry Shannon
    2003-08-28 15:37:59
     

    Ehhh . . .

  6.  
    john tiong chunghoo
    2003-12-31 22:37:03
     

    whistling
    the lady gets
    her little son to pee

  7.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2004-06-26 20:47:33
     

    rose, with tiny buds
    too late ...
    she closed the curtains

    -

    dpk, this came to mind, also;


    glimpse of a dear
    too late ...
    she closed the curtains


    late saturday evenings does this

  8.  
    Vasile Moldovan (vasilemoldovan at yahoo dot com)
    2004-07-24 22:19:22
     

    Not a chanse -
    after the deer's run
    she film the trifle

  9.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2005-01-01 14:47:14
     

    first day
    the new year
    not even a glimpse of rose

    -

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