late summer
descending into her jeans
a celtic tattoo


—Jeffrey Winke
        

About the author: Jeffrey Winke, jeff_winke at yahoo dot com

Jeffrey Winke is an industrial writer and adjunct university professor of modern poetry, business communication and public speaking in Milwaukee, Wis. His recent book What's Not There: Selected Haiku of Jeffrey Winke is a 2002 Merit Book Award winner. His motion graphics haiku collection, Chances, has been selected as a Cool Site winner. And a collection of Winke's essays combined with found art was recently exhibited at Milwaukee's Green Dragon Freedom Cafè gallery.

Responses to the haiku for 15 August 2003 by Jeffrey Winke

  1.  
    Mark Eugenio (PatuissetIsland at aol dot com)
    2003-08-16 10:37:24
     

    An awesome image and placement for a celtic tattoo

  2.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-08-16 22:05:59
     

    ___dangling participle___

    the number one reason why words ending in "ing" should be avoided, improper placement; proper structuring remains important


    i have this vision, for this apparent reason, of "summer" dipping into her jean; unless, of course, "late summer" is a pseudonym, or possibly an "alias"

    as mark commented an "awesome image, and placement for a celtic tattoo", i concur, although i placed the "," behind image



    my mental re-creation pictures what jeffrey is saying, however, i could be wrong

    i missed the "jeffrey's mystery"



    a slight rearrangement and remake:


    late summer...
    a celtic's tattoo exposing
    from her jeans


    a crisper juxtapose


    "exposing" more of a teaser

    "descending into", i felt, suggests further movement, or even gives life to the "tattoo"



    i read somewhere, "the best writers are re-writers", no reference to me, but to those who readily re-write their material, in an effort to perfect it

  3.  
    R.K.Singh
    2003-08-19 04:31:22
     

    It's a marvellous haiku with genteel sensuousness and happy feelings, despite veiled irony.

  4.  
    lnh
    2003-08-19 10:26:39
     

    No, "exposed" would be exactly wrong. It's the end of summer -- she's putting the jeans back on at the end of vacation. And for what it's worth, I like this ambiguous use of the participle -- both readings are correct, that the tattoo (literally) and summer (figuratively) are going into her jeans. The double meaning adds to our interpretation, making it easier to read by giving context.

    ---L.

  5.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-08-19 17:58:44
     

    lnh and dr singh, the combining of words are meant to produce an understanding, be it literally, figuratively, or a caricature; at least for some

    lnh, even stretching my imagination, i can't conceive summer going into her jeans, instead, her body, and/or even the tattoo on her body, are more suggestive.

    lnh, what is said about the writing of a haiku, the (do)s and (don't)s; i believe rules being, "no fairy tales" or "one's interpretation", accurately replay the observation


    as for a double meaning, where...

    as for it being at the end of a vacation, ditto.

    rather than making an assumption, try along this line, "there was this vacation at the end of summer, this reminds me of..."

    i understood the painting by jeffrey, even my being outside the jeans; however, reading or hearing the words stirred up the conversation on the possibilities, correct or incorrect

    the word that comes to mind, withstanding lnh, is
    "withershins"...

  6.  
    Michael L. Evans (trailermike at charter dot net)
    2003-08-22 00:41:30
     

    Hmm, am getting in late on this interesting discussion. Which is best, or worst, Jeffrey's
    dangling participle or Bob's use of an "ing"
    verb at the end of a line. I know poets who
    would attack/defend either - so will leave that
    to these two.

    I wish to discuss the reversed syntax of lines
    2 & 3 ... an issue I am dealing with in my own
    haiku. To me, the ambiguity does not work well
    in this haiku - so I think it would be an even better poem in natural syntax,with a slight
    alteration:

    late summer
    a celtic tattoo disappears
    into her jeans

  7.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-08-22 07:43:40
     

    upon hearing my name mentioned, here i am

    michael l., there's always a reason, in my case, i am counting characters

    to make a suggestion; syntax: the established rules of usage for arrangement of the words of sentences into their proper forms and relations; michael, this becomes rather confusing in one's attempt to write a haiku.

    returning to the "usage of a verb ending in (ing) at the end of a line", this verb being a part of speech, if indeed it was a verb, it becomes a participle; so called because it partakes of the character both of a verb and an adjective.


    more coming, michael...

  8.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-08-22 07:47:14
     

    michael, this, i trust you are reading...


    not quite finished yet, michael, however we do have nouns ending in "ing"; of which verbs become with the adding of "ing", it's usage usually exhibiting an act


    finally, there is no best nor worst, unless it is the inner struggles of the "one", this being up for personal interpretation. an example, michael have you ever seen things at their best when they were at their worse. forgive my rambling, michael, tis so earlier in the morn, for the sun has not yet risen...

    in other words, "just fooling" with you, michael, but i do suggest you reread my words again, with an open mind

  9.  
    2003-09-05 09:45:26
     

    Every girl of the summer brought to mind instantly. Autumnal thanks.

  10.  
    ed markowski
    2004-01-21 21:54:10
     

    nude beach...
    finally at dusk
    her ray ban's come down

  11.  
    john tiong chunghoo (bagiruang at yahoo dot com)
    2004-04-25 10:34:38
     

    heavy tattoo
    her nipple
    in the warrior's mouth

  12.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2004-07-07 20:33:17
     

    late in life
    remembrance, in her eyes ...
    once tight jeans, loose around her waist

    -

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