backyard sun shower . . .
the windchime song
changes with each cloud

—Stanford M. Forrester
        

About the author: Stanford M. Forrester is the editor of bottle rockets: a collection of short verse and a past president of the Haiku Society of America. A number of his haiku have been included in "American Zen: A Gathering of Poets" published by Bottomdog Press & "Haiku" published by Knopf. Most recently Stanford and vincent tripi have collaborated on a small book entitled "temple marigold".

To reach Stanford by email: bottlerockets_99 at yahoo.com

Responses to the haiku for 9 September 2003 by Stanford M. Forrester

  1.  
    Michael Meyerhofer (angry_seraph at yahoo dot com)
    2003-09-11 17:52:59
     

    I like this... There's a sense of stillness invoked with the moving clouds, plus a union of human and nature in the "man-made" windchime seemingly being affected by the changing shape of the distant clouds--and a bit of humor as well. Thank you for sharing this poem!

  2.  
    h. gene murtha
    2003-09-11 19:40:19
     

    well Stan,

    I thought that you were still the president of
    the HSA, and Tom Painting was the current 2nd VP?

    Anywho, I enjoyed the movement and sound in this
    haiku. The juxtapositon is good, and I agree with
    Michael, though there maybe also something seen,
    that is familiar in the clouds, while the clouds
    change shape.

    Gene

  3.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-09-11 22:16:09
     

    intriguing-
    though overly wordy.

    i am trying to remember the words (someone) used, "too informative".

    with these words, i find it difficult to relate the wind-chime's song to the clouds, that explains why it's not called a "cloud-chime"



    "backyard sun shower . . ."

    was it raining, in addition to the sun shining, or simply a down pouring of sun rays.

    fascination-



    "the wind-chime song"

    this line could have been written alone(as a one line haiku) just the tinkling, jingling of the chimes is a different(concert) story each time.


    "changes with each cloud"

    i wonder...

    backyard . . .
    the wind-chime song
    as the clouds change


    remake-

  4.  
    Stanford M. Forrester (bottlerockets_99 at yahoo dot com)
    2003-09-14 23:04:27
     

    To B.Richardson:

    Interesting. Your remake isn't the same thing.

    The sounds of the windchimes are from a combination of wind and the rain hitting it.

    Sunshowers include rain and light, hence the name.

    If this haiku were "too informative", which I disagree, I'm not sure why these questions are having to be answered in the first place.

    Your revision leaves out the rain, as well as, the sun shower (the light/darkness element) which are both very important to the poem. Though I like it very much, really do, what you have proposed is not the same poem as I said before, does not have the same level of depth as the original, and is singular. Thank you for thinking enough about my poem to take the time to send in a comment.



    To answer Gene + others:

    Yes, I am currently the president of the Haiku Society of America. The posted bio is unfortunately from last year when I served as 2nd VP and was not updated.

    Best,
    Stanford M. Forrester

  5.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-09-15 00:03:44
     

    and in the interest of complete information, my reply to stanford:

    stanford,
    interesting-
    true, my remake isn't the same thing.

    a combination of the wind and the rain
    hitting the windchimes at that moment were known only to you.

    surely you must agree, any words i may have written are an interpretation from the words you presented

    "sunshowers including rain and light, hence the name", was new to me, even though i was able to conceive/perceive your intentions.

    it has been my understanding, at times too much can be placed in a haiku, rather than allowing the readers or listeners to form their own opinions

    true, i focused on the windchimes and the thought, there was a breeze present, allowing for the changing clouds; as forementioned, one can try to emphasize (too much)



    cont...

  6.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-09-15 00:13:05
     

    continuation...

    true again, what i proposed does not contain the same dimensions, to equate to the same dimensions i would have to apply my own reasoning, to myself, as aforementioned.


    "singular poem", hmmm, i have heard this term in reference to poe's raven, before i continue, might you explain your usage...


    just me


    a note, stanford: forgive me, if, i left a word or two out; it's difficult for me to photographically remember as i once did, yesterday; other words, i forget sometimes. if, this isn't close enough, please, print my exact response to you.

  7.  
    john tiong chunghoo
    2003-12-29 04:32:53
     

    widow's death
    her windchime
    tinkling through the night

  8.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2004-07-18 19:05:36
     

    morning sunshine ...
    homeless man's cardboard bed
    on the sidewalk

    -

    asleep
    in one's own embrace ...
    the world going by

  9.