cold autumn rain
the red EAT sign's
soft neon hum


—Jeffrey Winke
        

About the author: Jeffrey Winke, jeff_winke at yahoo dot com

Jeffrey Winke is an industrial writer and adjunct university professor of modern poetry, business communication and public speaking in Milwaukee, Wis. His recent book What's Not There: Selected Haiku of Jeffrey Winke is a 2002 Merit Book Award winner. His motion graphics haiku collection, Chances, has been selected as a Cool Site winner. And a collection of Winke's essays combined with found art was recently exhibited at Milwaukee's Green Dragon Freedom Cafè gallery.

 

Responses to the haiku for 7 October 2003 by Jeffrey Winke

  1.  
    krumbstakr
    2003-10-08 01:08:11
     

    Jeffrey, thank you.

  2.  
    Craig McLanachan (cramar at actrix dot nz dot com)
    2003-10-08 01:13:59
     

    I really like this, it has so much input and gives me a vivid image. Well done.

  3.  
    Norman Darlington (tinywords at eirmode dot com)
    2003-10-08 02:14:50
     

    Nice image, but too much input - i.e. no room for any from the reader.
    5 adjectives in a 10 word haiku! Lose cold, red and soft and I love it.

  4.  
    Elbert Pruitt (epruitt1 at swbell dot net)
    2003-10-08 05:29:40
     

    I like the contrasting warmth here of what I imagine as a diner. For the author to hear the soft hum of the sign for all the rain, I suspect that he is already inside warming up in the very booth at which the sign can be most easily heard. Nice poem.

  5.  
    paul m.
    2003-10-08 11:04:20
     

    The juxtaposition of inside and outside works well. I like how the rain is given an almost electrical charge from the sign's noise. I agree you could lose 'cold' but not the others. 'red' emphasizes the cold/warm relationship.

  6.  
    h. gene murtha (Genemurt at cs dot com)
    2003-10-10 22:08:07
     

    yeah, I would drop "cold," but I do like
    all the senses, that this poem touches: Hell,
    it's got everything: "the whole 9 years,"
    now, that's cliche.


    Sincerely,

    Gene:)

  7.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-10-11 06:15:08
     

    aged overcoat
    stomach groans -
    penniless, he walks pass the diner


    jeffrey, my friend, where are you from. is "the early 70's" or "what's not there" significant

    in passing, was it a moonless night, though i knew you were close by

  8.  
    john tiong chunghoo (bagiruang at yahoo dot com)
    2003-12-05 08:42:23
     

    on the neonlight
    featuring sparrow house
    two little birds sleep

  9.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2004-07-21 18:54:11
     

    winter, so cold -
    the way she treats me

    -

    no home
    no rest
    too weak to go on, too strong to cry

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