the cool air inside
the terminal rests on me
when I say farewell

—Troy Freund
        

Haiku written as part of a daily creative exercise. This haiku was Day #172.

About the author: Troy Freund, freelance photographer in Milwaukee, WI.

Responses to the haiku for 13 October 2003 by Troy Freund

  1.  
    Elbert Pruitt
    2003-10-15 11:34:32
     

    Troy, I like the familiar moment portrayed here, but omit line one to reveal a potential distraction in the remainder of the poem. Sometimes a single line will leap out and dominate the poem's true intent, as line 2 does. -just a thought

  2.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-10-17 19:58:25
     

    final farewell, tears:
    the voice on the terminal intercom
    crackles

  3.  
    john tiong chunghoo (bagiruang at yahoo dot com)
    2003-12-05 06:11:57
     

    i did experience moment like this.

    with each goodbye
    i utter, her face
    stiffens

  4.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2004-07-21 19:33:54
     

    green, blue
    red, yellow, and white -
    parrot refusing to say "bob"

  5.