garage cleaning day
my father's fishing pole
wrapped in dust


—Ray Rasmussen
        

Note: this haiku appeared in the recent issue of Simply Haiku as the closing haiku in a haibun. "

About the author: Ray Rasmussen lives in Edmonton, Canada. He was attracted to haiku when he visited the Kurimoto Japanese Garden near his home and went in search of Asian poetry to supplement his website. He is currently managing editor of contemporary haibun online and is a past editor of Simply Haiku. His haiku/haibun have appeared in Heron's Nest, Simply Haiku, Contemporary Haibun Online, tinywords, Haiku Harvest and LifeSherpa.

Responses to the haiku for 23 November 2005 by Ray Rasmussen

  1.  
    Anthony Slauson
    2005-11-23 11:41:04
     

    Curbs-
    full of yesterdays-
    Gluttony-

  2.  
    Carol Raisfeld
    2005-11-23 13:14:11
     

    A wonderful haiku, Ray.
    Your words bring back poignant memories.
    Carol

  3.  
    2005-11-23 15:50:23
     

    I came to see the sea
    a fallen ship
    rusting my sight

  4.  
    papa
    2005-11-23 16:45:47
     

    13th birthday
    dad & gramps inspect
    my first dry fly


    playing him...
    the trout leads me into
    a raspberry thicket


    birthday dinner
    the day's catch sizzles
    in a cast iron skillet

  5.  
    levon machenry
    2005-11-23 19:10:33
     

    divorced
    i lose my reason
    to go fishing

  6.  
    2005-11-24 09:29:18
     

    dawn mist--
    black bags awaiting
    the garbage trucks

  7.  
    bobby michael richardson
    2005-11-24 19:54:19
     

    evening traffic--
    drip of cold sweat--
    down my left side

    awakening jolt

  8.  
    hmmm
    2005-11-28 12:44:52
     

    Doesn't anyone follow 5-7-5 anymore?

  9.  
    Bill Kenney
    2005-11-29 12:29:27
     

    cleaning the attic
    so that's where I've been
    keeping my life

  10.  
    spider tansy
    2005-11-30 18:24:52
     

    how 'bout a new poem? this is a great website. hope

    it's not your roof again.


    day done
    the roofer leaps
    from the roof

  11.  
    john tiong chunghoo
    2005-12-03 00:46:11
     

    all souls day
    last year's baby runs
    around late dad's grave

  12.  
    Anne Schmidt
    2005-12-05 04:29:25
     

    Hmm, Bobby rides his horse, you ride another. It's easier to to the American English hybrid. Doing the 5-7-5 requires more crafting. Keep on doing it..I know I do whenever I can.

  13.  
    Anne Schmidt
    2005-12-05 04:37:19
     

    Hmm, Bobby rides his horse, you ride another. It's easier to do the American English hybrid. Doing the 5-7-5 requires more crafting. Keep on doing it..I know I do whenever I can.

  14.  
    bobby michael richardson
    2005-12-05 06:28:10
     

    anne, i was of the opinion i was experiencing déja vu or even an echo at this early hour.

    what if"", as i'd (once) been known to say, what if basho et al had adhered to the rules as stringently as most (today) would have (you) do .
    and yet, in all their lives, they were criticized for pursuing their (curiosity) down a different path."

  15.  
    bobby michael richardson
    2005-12-05 06:29:19
     

    anne, sad these days, most who write of the haiku would have you doing the same as was once done a thousand years ago.
    i can't recall the last time i wrote a sonnet. these days i'm not that single minded.

    anne, i don't enjoy riding the same horse day-in and day-out.

  16.  
    Magyar
    2005-12-05 08:44:47
     

    A horse of another colour... may [by just being] cause the rider to choose another path... and why not_?
    Old roads of insight remain... as does the contrary -Less is More-.

  17.  
    Anthony Slauson
    2005-12-05 09:10:30
     

    I think 575 still has a place.It takes a bit more discipline to mold your thoughts into a rigid form. I think the problems begins when people try to fit themselves into the 575 framework only to find they have a limb.. or two sticking out. Genetically speaking when hybrids cross it produces diversity, ultimately resulting in stronger offspring. I say lets produce healthy children.

  18.  
    Anne Schmidt
    2005-12-05 13:57:50
     

    Anthony, in general I agree with you. Bobby, sometime I agree with you. My concern arises when writers approach haiku as an I can name that tune in 9 (7,5,3 whatever) syllables"" contest. The genre is already brief and making it briefer runs the risk of stripping it bare"

  19.  
    bobby michael richardson
    2005-12-05 14:27:24
     

    5-7-5
    5-7-5
    5-7-5

    does anyone understand (nor) realize it's not about (5-7-5)

    it's the thought(s) being conveyed.

  20.  
    bobby michael richardson
    2005-12-05 14:36:06
     

    anne, if one can name that tune in 9, 7, 5, 3, whatever syllables"", then i say something remarkable has taken place.
    as i've mention before, the haiku gives me grief, and yet...
    i can't seem to stay away.

    as i've mention before, ""there are times one has to get down to the (bare) essence"", in order to perceive what's taking place"

  21.  
    Anne Schmidt
    2005-12-05 15:03:20
     

    OK, Bobby. Yes, by its nature poetry IS more than the sum of its parts! If it were not, it would be prose. Poetry relies on the ambiguity that is figurative language; hence, there is the literal level which equals the sum of parts PLUS the figurative which, in essence, doubles the meaning, at the very least!

  22.  
    bobby michael richardson
    2005-12-05 15:53:33
     

    anne,...

  23.  
    bobby michael richardson
    2005-12-05 16:05:52
     

    anne, your comment is very mathematical(physics), or to say the least it borders on quantum mechanics.
    anne, i trust you remember this is an informal discussion with no malice intended from my words; having said this, i'll continue...

  24.  
    bobby michael richardson
    2005-12-05 17:31:10
     

    anne, you've forced me to reread my words;
    i feel somewhat at a lost.
    i hadn't realize this was the point you were attempting to make.
    in one man's literary sense, a prose is hybrid poetry

    in poetry and prose, they're both poems

    whether one existed before the other is a different debate.

    however, to this i must add, the prose surely existed before the poem, it simply didn't know of it's own existence, until someone decided to give it a name, in hindsight

  25.  
    absurdly frustrated
    2005-12-06 16:44:42
     

    excellent!! :) the contrast of the fishing poll with the chore of cleaning out the garage, plus the layering of other metaphors like loss, the passage of time... very good!!

  26.  
    spider tansy
    2005-12-07 15:30:43
     

    17 english syllables is the equivalent of 20+ japanses
    sound units or on."" 17 only applies to the japanese
    language. studies were done, 12 english syllables
    is equal to 17 japanese on. thus the ideal length
    of an english language haiku is 12 syllables. i think
    variation is essential in the written arts. language
    is always evolving and expanding."

  27.  
    bobby michael richardson
    2006-02-16 18:23:34
     

    one, no, two doves, no eight-
    nameless tree stripped bare by the storm

  28.  
    ray rasmussen (ray at raysweb dot net)
    2006-08-09 21:27:12
     

    bobby, spider, Anne ... why do I feel degraded by the fact that your egos are running while while I'm trying to have a dialogue via a haiku of whatever form about a memory of my father?

  29.  
    b.m.r.
    2009-05-11 15:11:01
     

    spring evening
    dim lighting --
    mother's photo illuminates setting sun

  30.