first kiss-
his stuttering lips
upon her nose

—Felica Sah
        

About the author: I reside in Portland Oregon and have been writing haiku for over 10 years. I am inspired by the nonstop rain here and the roar of the ocean just a short drive away.

Responses to the haiku for 17 August 2007 by Felica Sah

  1.  
    Bill Kenney
    2007-08-17 06:52:29
     

    Been there, done that. Thanks for the memory (I think).

    Nicely observed and gently funny. "upon" is the right choice to my ear.

  2.  
    Ed Schwellenbach
    2007-08-17 07:26:54
     

    "Upon" sounds better to me too. And I apoligize in advance for the following.

    upon
    a pond, basho's frog
    up on his hokku

  3.  
    2007-08-17 07:41:26
     

    Funny and sweet. Nice image.

    ~Megan

    leaning against
    the historical marker--
    first kiss

  4.  
    Felica Sah
    2007-08-17 08:31:19
     

    Just a quick response to the note here from Patricia, I actually considered the word 'on' when I first wrote this haiku but I felt that it didn't fit well with the overall rhythm of this piece. But, of course each person can judge according to their own ear :) -Thanks, Felica

  5.  
    Andrea (andrea dot cecon at gmail dot com)
    2007-08-17 10:13:04
     

    A very nice one!

  6.  
    judith ingram
    2007-08-17 13:03:16
     

    What an embarrassing moment!

    First kiss
    punctuated with
    a burp

  7.  
    Patricia (a/k/a Roswila) (maryschild44 at yahoo dot com)
    2007-08-17 16:45:59
     

    There was a hiccup in the posting. That first (and lone) "comment" from me was not meant as a response now (it was from the earlier acceptance process). Blush. I reported the mix-up when I tried to leave a rave comment on this wonderful haiku. Anyway, with or without "on" it's delightful. Makes this 63 year old feel young just to read it!

  8.  
    Lesley Dewar
    2007-08-17 19:04:21
     

    First kisses can happen at any age and it doesn't necessarily get easier as we get older.

    First kiss
    eyes screwed shut
    in fear and desire

  9.  
    b. m. richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2007-08-17 20:36:45
     

    once (upon) a time, as many myths and fairy tales begin. it comes (upon) a midnight clear. yes, that monumental first kiss. noses crashing into each other, or finding an eye; yet lips missing.
    the kiss for all ages, even having so many prior. then comes that first kiss, all over again.
    funny, i never recall the nervousness, more the enjoyment
    -

    first kiss--
    the full moon never brighter

  10.  
    Alan Summers
    2007-08-21 12:16:00
     

    I second Patricia's comments. We both love the haiku, and who can deny a first kiss after all! ;-)

  11.  
    Kim
    2007-08-22 14:57:32
     

    !~sweet~! ...i remain smiling.

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