anniversary day –
snail tracks crisscrossing
the sidewalk
—HAROLD BOWES
Snails are soooooooo haiku! :-)
The Present Continuous is a potent device in the right hands, fortunately you have the right hands. Excellent use of juxtaposition, and allowing the reader to make their own decisions as a reader.
Fine work!
pull of stars turning cold the snail's navigation
Alan Summers
Publications credits (one line haiku):
Does Fish-God Know (YTBN Press 2012); Blithe Spirit (February 2013)
October 1st, 2014 at 11:34 am
We tread politely,
careful not to crush a snail
exploring damp stone.
October 1st, 2014 at 12:39 pm
snail in a leaf
double wrapped
against October's chill
October 1st, 2014 at 3:00 pm
anniversary day –
snail tracks crisscrossing
the sidewalk
—HAROLD BOWES
Snails are soooooooo haiku! :-)
The Present Continuous is a potent device in the right hands, fortunately you have the right hands. Excellent use of juxtaposition, and allowing the reader to make their own decisions as a reader.
Fine work!
pull of stars turning cold the snail's navigation
Alan Summers
Publications credits (one line haiku):
Does Fish-God Know (YTBN Press 2012); Blithe Spirit (February 2013)
.
October 2nd, 2014 at 8:54 am
Lovely, and leaves lots of room for reflection!
coastal map
the sand etched
by snails
G.R. LeBlanc
Notes from the Gean, June 2011
October 3rd, 2014 at 3:06 am
I love this! Beautiful & funny(to me). Thx!
October 3rd, 2014 at 4:05 am
I love snail poems!
Yours is suitably open to allow readers to complete it with their own experiences.
wet start
even the snail
stays indoors
Issa's Untidy Hut – Wednesday Haiku, January 16, 2013