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An amazing juxtaposition of imagery from the innocence of babies, to whispers behind a parent's back. Is the whispering campaign about bad parenting, true or false, or something far more sinister.
First I imagined a bouquet of flowers with delicate baby's breath interspersed with sturdier blooms. However, L3 immediately sent me back to reread. Who is gossiping and what are the rumours? The staff? The other mothers on the ward? Are the rumours about this man being the secret lover of the mother and by coming to the maternity ward with flowers he is acknowledging the child and ignoring the rumours? Or it could be a very young couple and it is the awkward teen father who arrives bearing the floral gift? It could be the mother of the girl who has come to show support for her daughter, despite the rumours. And then, as Alan Summers has said, it could also be more sinister, maybe this man has groomed the young mother, perhaps she has been raped and decided to keep the baby or could the visitor be a pimp who is bringing flowers for one of his prostitutes (unlikely)
Endless possibilities for narrative with a lot of tension created in this one.
April 12th, 2018 at 7:38 am
An interesting haiku with creativeness (zoko). I wish to share some of my haiku for your reading pleasure:
baby talk
I silently watch
blooming buds
The 9th Yamadera Bash? Memorial Museum English Haiku Contest, 2017
newborn baby—
the old man with a
tender look
A Handful of Stones 20.2.2013
April 12th, 2018 at 11:34 am
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baby’s breath
tucked in
the rumors
—TOM SACRAMONA
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An amazing juxtaposition of imagery from the innocence of babies, to whispers behind a parent's back. Is the whispering campaign about bad parenting, true or false, or something far more sinister.
Can rumours be well founded or just out of spite.
Terrific edge-of-the-seat haiku!
warm regards
Alan
April 16th, 2018 at 2:05 am
Wow!
First I imagined a bouquet of flowers with delicate baby's breath interspersed with sturdier blooms. However, L3 immediately sent me back to reread. Who is gossiping and what are the rumours? The staff? The other mothers on the ward? Are the rumours about this man being the secret lover of the mother and by coming to the maternity ward with flowers he is acknowledging the child and ignoring the rumours? Or it could be a very young couple and it is the awkward teen father who arrives bearing the floral gift? It could be the mother of the girl who has come to show support for her daughter, despite the rumours. And then, as Alan Summers has said, it could also be more sinister, maybe this man has groomed the young mother, perhaps she has been raped and decided to keep the baby or could the visitor be a pimp who is bringing flowers for one of his prostitutes (unlikely)
Endless possibilities for narrative with a lot of tension created in this one.
marion