new year
a thin layer of rainwater
coats the window
Published by
Harold Bowes
Harold Bowes has been published in several haiku journals, both electronic and paper, and has appeared in the Red Moon Anthology. He edits Alba, an ezine emphasizing short poetry.
Write to him at heb at oregontrail.net.
View all posts by Harold Bowes
5 thoughts on “”
i wonder…
there’ s definitely two trains of thoughts, but for the life of me, they seem completely disjoined.
“new year” leaves such a preponderance of ideas to possibly follow, but surely not the 2nd and 3rd lines.
the second and third lines appear to have a mind of their own, and “rainwater” seems redundant into itself. perhaps, simply rain.
a thought comes to mind on the feasibility of a remake, along the lines of something less broad as new year and even an additional suggestion.
case in point:
early morning dew
a thin layer of rain
coats the window
There are the five seasons: Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter, and the New Year. This haiku is an attempt to write a New Years haiku. The window is last year, solid and fixed, “a past which is still present” (quoting from Blyth again) while the rainwater is the New Year, fluid and filled with possibility and thin, so thin, just getting started you know. The use of the word “rainwater” — well, it’s intended to emphasize the layering of a sheet of rain over the surface of the window. This haiku may be along the lines of Tozan’s haiku:
The wind
In the pine tree on the peak —
The very being of New Year’s Day.
Or maybe not.
On reflection, and after reading several examples in Blyth, I might have changed the first line from “new year” to “the first day of the year.” But, you know, it’s fun to workshop haiku.
i wonder…
there’ s definitely two trains of thoughts, but for the life of me, they seem completely disjoined.
“new year” leaves such a preponderance of ideas to possibly follow, but surely not the 2nd and 3rd lines.
the second and third lines appear to have a mind of their own, and “rainwater” seems redundant into itself. perhaps, simply rain.
a thought comes to mind on the feasibility of a remake, along the lines of something less broad as new year and even an additional suggestion.
case in point:
early morning dew
a thin layer of rain
coats the window
however, this is indeed a haiku moment
“The New Year is a season by itself.”
–R. H. Blyth, Haiku, Volume 2
There are the five seasons: Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter, and the New Year. This haiku is an attempt to write a New Years haiku. The window is last year, solid and fixed, “a past which is still present” (quoting from Blyth again) while the rainwater is the New Year, fluid and filled with possibility and thin, so thin, just getting started you know. The use of the word “rainwater” — well, it’s intended to emphasize the layering of a sheet of rain over the surface of the window. This haiku may be along the lines of Tozan’s haiku:
The wind
In the pine tree on the peak —
The very being of New Year’s Day.
Or maybe not.
On reflection, and after reading several examples in Blyth, I might have changed the first line from “new year” to “the first day of the year.” But, you know, it’s fun to workshop haiku.
Harold
midway through the new year –
thin coat of dust
on the window sill
–
In the night
watching through the fat ice –
twofold windows
old dark year
at an end
the drought, as the snow falls
–