after a March storm
walking the tide line
a murder of crows
Published by
Shirley Weese
Shirley Weese
sweese at island dot net
I live in Victoria B.C. and have been writing haiku for years. I also write poetry, short stories and occasionally work on a never ending mystery novel.
View all posts by Shirley Weese
7 thoughts on “”
Good poem. The ‘murder’ of crows has impact. I would have used the lower case for March ie march.
A capital here looks out of place ( only my opinion).Well done.
upon reading, the movie of the same title came to mind. albeit, the mood and frame work were set, a fully developed moment in time had been locked in my rational .
i fear having read craig’s comments, my thoughts were focused on his words. perhaps i should have looked past and focused on the haiku instead.
for lack of something better to do at this instant, might i offer some rambling thoughts.
i was wondering craig, maybe, just maybe the author usage of the upper case “M” was for double the effect, hmmm, i ponder, could it be double the affect… or as others have explained while addressing other pieces, it’s usage being “a turn of phrase, leaving to one’s imagination and contemplation, i don’t mind, i think i like it, and i reread it…”
how fickle the thought process. craig, i give you credit, you set these thoughts in motion.
i call upon norman, a mercy slap, to enable me to regain my focus.
ahhh yes, thanks for the slap, norman, and i heard your whisper, “bob, brevity please”.
“breather being taken here”
i read again, the haiku at hand, other than being a tad bit wordy, it was not demoted to the labelling as being bad. i think i like it.
and yet, …. here i go again.
i reread the piece anew. with a little sprucing up we’d have a haiku here.
case in point:
March storm resigned…
walking tide line
murder of crows
darn, craig, my eyes were drawn to the upper case “M”. then, i imagined marching crows…
then i remembered the word norman whispered…
“brevity”
well, the poem reminded how I was frightened. but all in all i like the haiku. =) It has that chilly effect in you after you read it.. it’s like you wanted to know more what happened about him… =)
Good poem. The ‘murder’ of crows has impact. I would have used the lower case for March ie march.
A capital here looks out of place ( only my opinion).Well done.
upon reading, the movie of the same title came to mind. albeit, the mood and frame work were set, a fully developed moment in time had been locked in my rational .
i fear having read craig’s comments, my thoughts were focused on his words. perhaps i should have looked past and focused on the haiku instead.
for lack of something better to do at this instant, might i offer some rambling thoughts.
i was wondering craig, maybe, just maybe the author usage of the upper case “M” was for double the effect, hmmm, i ponder, could it be double the affect… or as others have explained while addressing other pieces, it’s usage being “a turn of phrase, leaving to one’s imagination and contemplation, i don’t mind, i think i like it, and i reread it…”
how fickle the thought process. craig, i give you credit, you set these thoughts in motion.
i call upon norman, a mercy slap, to enable me to regain my focus.
ahhh yes, thanks for the slap, norman, and i heard your whisper, “bob, brevity please”.
“breather being taken here”
i read again, the haiku at hand, other than being a tad bit wordy, it was not demoted to the labelling as being bad. i think i like it.
and yet, …. here i go again.
i reread the piece anew. with a little sprucing up we’d have a haiku here.
case in point:
March storm resigned…
walking tide line
murder of crows
darn, craig, my eyes were drawn to the upper case “M”. then, i imagined marching crows…
then i remembered the word norman whispered…
“brevity”
it’s good to have and good to offer an opinion…
Beautiful! Perfect!
Lovely, chilling, & effective. Thank you.
well, the poem reminded how I was frightened. but all in all i like the haiku. =) It has that chilly effect in you after you read it.. it’s like you wanted to know more what happened about him… =)
Punchy, and evocative. I’m in favor of more haiku with the word “murder” in it.
june wedding shower:
the smell
of freshly falling rain
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