breakfast together
the silence about things
that matter
Published by
Carol Raisfeld
Carol Raisfeld lives in Long Beach, New York. She was Director of WHChaikumultimedia and has served as Multimedia Editor for World Haiku Review, moderator for WHClovehaiku, Associate Editor and Haiga Editor for Simply Haiku and a member of the editorial board of Modern Haiga. Carol's poetry, art and photography appear worldwide in print, online journals and anthologies.
View all posts by Carol Raisfeld
8 thoughts on “”
It took a few readings, but how incredibly lovely. Thanks
even with the first reading, there was this “depth” preconception.
i felt the “philosopher” with the second reading
“exquisite”, i wouldn’t go so far as to say.
“many possibilities”, true, with the possibility of this happening to many others, daily.
on this one, i felt the judges, rather than the piece, were being pivotal.
it being “descriptive”, true again, about one of life’s mysteries.
it being a moment in time, don’t really think so, rather an uncomfortable situation we at times find ourselves in, while pondering “why”.
as mentioned above, “flawed”, indeed. who was it that said, “in imperfection, there’s exhibited perfection”. for it being flawed, it imprints the mind with a common desire for companionship, man being born with this innate sense desiring to be gregarious.
this being somewhat the discussion for my philosophy class.
“incredible”, dependant on one’s usage of the word.
Honestly, this haiku was a bit too vague for my tastes… In my opinion, the ability of haiku to tie a moment in time to “larger” subjects or feelings functions best when the poem contains a concrete image or two, simply and honestly described. Details and a sort of objective description are necessary (again, just my opinion) to truly make the poem come alive to our subjective minds. I’d like to see this poem expanded as a tanka, perhaps, with a few more details. That might allow the quietness and beauty of the moment described to meld with concrete images, and allow the poem as a whole to have a stronger voice. Hope I don’t sound too critical…
This is First rate, clearly of prize winning quality. It has no kigo, but so what, it is a heavily psychological haiku. Perhaps we have all had this experience. If it isn’t excellent it is very close. Very very well done.
It took a few readings, but how incredibly lovely. Thanks
even with the first reading, there was this “depth” preconception.
i felt the “philosopher” with the second reading
“exquisite”, i wouldn’t go so far as to say.
“many possibilities”, true, with the possibility of this happening to many others, daily.
on this one, i felt the judges, rather than the piece, were being pivotal.
it being “descriptive”, true again, about one of life’s mysteries.
it being a moment in time, don’t really think so, rather an uncomfortable situation we at times find ourselves in, while pondering “why”.
as mentioned above, “flawed”, indeed. who was it that said, “in imperfection, there’s exhibited perfection”. for it being flawed, it imprints the mind with a common desire for companionship, man being born with this innate sense desiring to be gregarious.
this being somewhat the discussion for my philosophy class.
“incredible”, dependant on one’s usage of the word.
An intimate subject, expressed in a manner, that allows interpretation. Very well written. – Deborah
Honestly, this haiku was a bit too vague for my tastes… In my opinion, the ability of haiku to tie a moment in time to “larger” subjects or feelings functions best when the poem contains a concrete image or two, simply and honestly described. Details and a sort of objective description are necessary (again, just my opinion) to truly make the poem come alive to our subjective minds. I’d like to see this poem expanded as a tanka, perhaps, with a few more details. That might allow the quietness and beauty of the moment described to meld with concrete images, and allow the poem as a whole to have a stronger voice. Hope I don’t sound too critical…
This is First rate, clearly of prize winning quality. It has no kigo, but so what, it is a heavily psychological haiku. Perhaps we have all had this experience. If it isn’t excellent it is very close. Very very well done.
business round
the cabby counts notes
on his steering wheel
lifting her spoon…
parting her lips…
a sudden shift
in my appetite
at the breakfast table —
setting for two
yesterday’s meal