stillness
along this snowpacked road
noises of small birds
Published by
Mike Farley
I live with my wife Shirlee on a cattle ranch near the little ski town of Red Lodge, Montana, and have been loving and writing haiku for several years now. I draw my inspiration from the images of the high-plains, mountains, weather, wildlife, livestock, ranch work and outdoor recreation which surround me daily.
View all posts by Mike Farley
woods of rain and dew
where sunlight forgets the day
silent footsteps fall
between loads
of laundry and dishes-
silence
Hi Mike enjoyed your haiku! Perhaps you’ve seen mine on tw. Like you I live on the land and delight in the haiku moments our way of life can provide.
Hup…Hup!
from the empty cattleyards,voices
of frogs
stillness
a few birds
sing away noon
Beautiful!!
Although I don’t live on a snowpacked road,
I can share your wonder;
I express mine this way:
outside my window
tiny birds chirp
singing me awake
e.h., i enjoyed reading your haiku
i enjoyed mike’s haiku, also.
“for me”, a rearrangement of lines enhanced both
noises of small birds
along this snowpacked road —
stillness
yours:
tiny birds chirp
outside the window —
singing me awake
Joy of the Haiku, a shared moment.
most pieces(haiku) fail the aha!!! test.
achieved in one of two ways; that magical turn after l-2, or the pointing out of something mundane, but we were too busy to take note of
out of the wind
february sun
warm silence
student’s pencil,
inching tower of
knowledge or yawn?
Bob,
I wouldnt re-arrange the lines…
The writer finds ‘stillness along this snowpacked road’, wonders if there is life at all along the snow packed road, and that is exactly when he hears the sounds of the small birds. The sounds answer the writer’s query, that nature can never be still, that there is life in the most unlikely of places and at unlikely time. Its a beautiful moment.
But Bob, by rearranging mike’s haiku, are u not inverting the Haiku moment?
kamesh,
you failed to perceive my words. in rearranging the lines, i mentioned, “for me, this enhanced the reading”.
the “wondering” of the writer is lost upon me. we as readers have only the lines which were written; and from this, the effect of them on our “imagery”.
in your explanation for the author, did you have privy to a conversation with the writer.
(inverting the haiku moment), at times we take note of things in hindsight.
Bob,
That was my own interpretation, and I guess I was trying to impose my arguments on you. That is against the spirit of Haiku. “Haiku does not seek to impose on the mind of the reader, to construct a narrative, or advance an argument. Instead the poem takes a perception, an observation or contrast, and invites the reader to explore it, to interpret it as they will” – John E. Carley, Director, WHCpoetrybridge. I went overboard with my interpretation. Please accept my apologies.
Kamesh,
no apology needed, i appreciate your responses. your words give me the opportunity to review, to delve deeper into my personal convictions.
seeing through your eyes gave me a new perspective.
too many simply read the haiku; proclaiming indignation when others stray.
(i would think) more would take the opportunity, provided by tinywords, to make their thoughts known; perchance (enhancing) their power of observation
stillness
tinywords silenced
has someone “retired”?
not even
reading glasses help–
tinywords
morning mist
walk through the garden —
the silence of my path
still & hot
he recalls a night
on the mekong river
silence–
these welcomed moments
even the snow’s crunch