as the light changes
I rush across pulling
the wrong woman
Published by
A. Thiagarajan
A postgraduate in English, A. Thiagarajan taught in colleges in India, before joining the finance sector. He has been writing in English and Tamil since college days. His work (poems, haiku, short-stories and articles) has appeared in various magazines and ezines, radio etc. He lives in Mumbai, India.
Email: thiag at vsnl dot com
View all posts by A. Thiagarajan
Love it! This ku has started my day with a great laugh. So well done! I can imagine the glares you got from both women :) Unforgettable…life’s little embarrasing, confronting moments, eh?
J. Richards:
Haiku and senryu (humorous haiku) are very open to the number of syllables per line, and no longer even have to be three lines. Even though this haiku’s middle line has 6 syllables instead of seven and it isn’t about nature, it is still very much a haiku. And a very nice one at that, A. Thiagarajan.
Sincerely,
David Fox
Well, I don’t even mean anything about syllable count; it could all be one line for that matter. Or the lack of nature/kigo. That’s fine; I could grant that.
I just mean there is way too much ego in it. Neither is there any break. It is, then, in all essence, simply a short biographical sentence broken into three lines, albeit a cute and funny one. It seems to lack a haiku spirit though.
I really enjoyed your senryu.
I have nearly done this a few times!
Love it! This ku has started my day with a great laugh. So well done! I can imagine the glares you got from both women :) Unforgettable…life’s little embarrasing, confronting moments, eh?
lorin
i did enjoy reading this – great to celebrate the fact that we’re just bumbling creatures!
Sorry, but I really just don’t see how this could be considered a haiku.
I’m sure “the light” is always very uncertain when we rush across any woman. Capricious. Between dawn and dusk.
J. Richards:
Haiku and senryu (humorous haiku) are very open to the number of syllables per line, and no longer even have to be three lines. Even though this haiku’s middle line has 6 syllables instead of seven and it isn’t about nature, it is still very much a haiku. And a very nice one at that, A. Thiagarajan.
Sincerely,
David Fox
Well, I don’t even mean anything about syllable count; it could all be one line for that matter. Or the lack of nature/kigo. That’s fine; I could grant that.
I just mean there is way too much ego in it. Neither is there any break. It is, then, in all essence, simply a short biographical sentence broken into three lines, albeit a cute and funny one. It seems to lack a haiku spirit though.
dusk, fleeting colours
watching
her walk away