Joanne Morcom is a published poet and retired social worker who lives in Calgary, Alberta. She posts her poetry on her Facebook and on X, formerly known as Twitter.
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10 thoughts on “”
A lot of us must have experienced this some time! ;-)
curling up at dusk
the park bench sleeper
turns over a new page
"First Australian Haiku Anthology" 2003 ISBN 0 9577925 9 X
This is a very good “haiku”; however, traditionally, haiku’s tend to be 17 syllables: the first line has 5, the second has 7, and the third line has 5 syllables again. I am not sure this is a traditional haiku but it is still good.
Thanks for your responses Alan, Bill, laryalee, Terry, Judith and Bob. After writing this haiku, I realized that the second line, the stranger beside me, is also the title of a book about the serial killer Ted Bundy. It wasn’t an intentional reference, or was it?
I’ve sat on a park bench or a bus bench, where the other person on the bench innocently shifts position & ends up closer, which is how I want to read the ‘ku. There’s also my first reading:
park bench
the (creepy) stranger beside me
inches (too) close
A lot of us must have experienced this some time! ;-)
curling up at dusk
the park bench sleeper
turns over a new page
home town…
waiting in a hotel bar
the stranger
Suggests many possibilities, not all of them (but enough!) sinister
high rise elevator
I’m told by a stranger
that Jesus loves me
park bench
the stranger inside me
streches closer
A strong moment…
I feel an urge to move away!
This is a very good “haiku”; however, traditionally, haiku’s tend to be 17 syllables: the first line has 5, the second has 7, and the third line has 5 syllables again. I am not sure this is a traditional haiku but it is still good.
Terry . . . stick around awhile and you’ll find there’s nothing very traditional about haiku any more.
Great poem, Joanne. I can feel a chill between my shoulder blades.
Hi Terry,
They’re 5-7-5 in Japanese units called on.
Maybe think of them as six second poems as that’s a common time length for a haiku whether you’re Japanese or not.
See Tinywords About, link: also http://www.withwords.co.uk; and http://area17.blogspot.com for more links etc…
You’re in for a pleasant surprise! ;-)
bare branches
cardinal flitting
through–
first peach blossom
Thanks for your responses Alan, Bill, laryalee, Terry, Judith and Bob. After writing this haiku, I realized that the second line, the stranger beside me, is also the title of a book about the serial killer Ted Bundy. It wasn’t an intentional reference, or was it?
I’ve sat on a park bench or a bus bench, where the other person on the bench innocently shifts position & ends up closer, which is how I want to read the ‘ku. There’s also my first reading:
park bench
the (creepy) stranger beside me
inches (too) close
An interesting senryu with multiple meanings.