Haiku are built around two circling images and what is ALSO NOT SAID. This certainly works here!
We have three strong and clear concrete images:
wedding vows
watermark
hardwood floor
But if we break that down further:
wedding
water
wood
Is this a wedding of people or of two of the major elements? When money was scarce as well as building materials, we often default to wood, for our walls, ceiling/roof, and floor. In fact many floors still utilise wood, even if we carpet them over.
Let's go back to the full and highly crafted haiku, and that interesting and perhaps keyword, of 'watermark'.
Wedding vows means the concluding of the first part of the wedding ceremony, moving towards the paperwork being done for administrative reasons (and weddings were mostly invented for 'joint enterprises' and 'land securement between two families').
And of course the other paperwork is the Marriage Certificate which will inevitably have a watermark running through the paper as proof of its legitimacy.
The first two lines can create a couple all of their own:
wedding vows
a watermark
and also unsaid as:
wedding vows:
a watermark
Now this could be a neutral statement or a celebration, or a query over part or all of the wedding process or processes.
The next two lines are straightforward:
a watermark
on the hardwood floor
Aren't they?
This could be about removing water stains, hot cups/mug rings, sweating glasses on a hot Summer day, or some other water stain, even due to flooding, which is on the increase in parts of the world.
The opening line could also suggest something else, perhaps even a celebration of life instead.
Of course this could be that during the wedding vows one of the couple, for whatever reason, or a member of the audience even, has strayed in their attention and noticed a water stain. They may want to clean it up, or criticise the cleaning staff, or management, or made a connection with weddings and the joyous results that issue from it.
Was someone distracted, either audience, or one of the couple about to be married and having doubts and second thoughts?
I've immensely enjoyed taking a ride around the words, and however wrong I might be, I've enjoyed the freedom of the poem and its highway!
Many deep visions Alan, nice. _m
__ My positive thoughts instantly overcome any negatives I may sense, and in reading this Alan, I imagined stepping forward in life's book; another page.
December 5th, 2018 at 9:23 am
wedding vows
a watermark
on the hardwood floor
—CHRISTINE TAYLOR
Haiku are built around two circling images and what is ALSO NOT SAID. This certainly works here!
We have three strong and clear concrete images:
wedding vows
watermark
hardwood floor
But if we break that down further:
wedding
water
wood
Is this a wedding of people or of two of the major elements? When money was scarce as well as building materials, we often default to wood, for our walls, ceiling/roof, and floor. In fact many floors still utilise wood, even if we carpet them over.
Let's go back to the full and highly crafted haiku, and that interesting and perhaps keyword, of 'watermark'.
Wedding vows means the concluding of the first part of the wedding ceremony, moving towards the paperwork being done for administrative reasons (and weddings were mostly invented for 'joint enterprises' and 'land securement between two families').
And of course the other paperwork is the Marriage Certificate which will inevitably have a watermark running through the paper as proof of its legitimacy.
The first two lines can create a couple all of their own:
wedding vows
a watermark
and also unsaid as:
wedding vows:
a watermark
Now this could be a neutral statement or a celebration, or a query over part or all of the wedding process or processes.
The next two lines are straightforward:
a watermark
on the hardwood floor
Aren't they?
This could be about removing water stains, hot cups/mug rings, sweating glasses on a hot Summer day, or some other water stain, even due to flooding, which is on the increase in parts of the world.
The opening line could also suggest something else, perhaps even a celebration of life instead.
Of course this could be that during the wedding vows one of the couple, for whatever reason, or a member of the audience even, has strayed in their attention and noticed a water stain. They may want to clean it up, or criticise the cleaning staff, or management, or made a connection with weddings and the joyous results that issue from it.
Was someone distracted, either audience, or one of the couple about to be married and having doubts and second thoughts?
I've immensely enjoyed taking a ride around the words, and however wrong I might be, I've enjoyed the freedom of the poem and its highway!
warm regards,
Alan
December 5th, 2018 at 11:46 am
Many deep visions Alan, nice. _m
__ My positive thoughts instantly overcome any negatives I may sense, and in reading this Alan, I imagined stepping forward in life's book; another page.
ugly stain
when the vow evaporates
another page
December 5th, 2018 at 11:58 am
In my incompetence, Christine, I keyed the wrong name twice. My deepest apologies for my errors. ._m
December 5th, 2018 at 6:10 pm
Turned my mind in another direction.
–
wedding dance
a red wine stain
on the table cloth
December 5th, 2018 at 6:38 pm
The juxtaposition of these two images may presage misfortune in marriage because of vows lightly taken.