puberty
we take turns touching
the electric fence
Published by
Dave Bonta
Dave Bonta (davebonta.com) is the author of Failed State: Haibun (Via Negativa Books, 2021) and Ice Mountain: An Elegy (Phoenicia Publishing, 2017). His haiku, senryu and haibun have appeared hither and yon, including in Frogpond, The Heron's Nest, Wales Haiku Journal, Contemporary Haibun Online, Haibun Today, and Modern Haiku.
View all posts by Dave Bonta
You know a senryu is successful when you immediately and involuntarily laugh out loud. Well done (!), and more layered than it might first appear.
Fascinating!
puberty
we take turns touching
the electric fence
—DAVE BONTA
I remember literally testing a cattle fence as a very young teenager, and there is something about the connection, and being in mixed gender company. Very original but very accurate comparison!
I wrote a book review/article for Blithe Spirit (journal for the British Haiku Society) on this collection by current BHS President Kate Hall, posted onto my area 17 blog entitled:
"Portable words: The other side of the electric fence – Kate Hall's haiku collection "Irises""
I'll have to re-read it now! :-)
What a perfectly jolting juxtaposition to allude to the shocks of adolescence! So fresh and cutting edge!
I especially like the unspoken nod to that invincibility we once felt in our youth…Well done! Autumn
Great, sharp.
Big grin!
Love it. I agree with Mark Dailey completely … the humour is just the tip of the iceberg here … so much going on underneath, all the fear and excitement, the tentative daring inherent in the charged and changing body during puberty. What better symbol than the electric fence!
between the bed wrinkles winter shadows