A single cricket
sounding a single sharp cry
as the moon appears

—Michael J. Barney
        

About the author: Michael J. Barney works for a multi-national insurance megalith (not, alas, the same one as Wallace Stevens) where he toils day and night to facilitate the transfer of wealth from one pocket to another within the same pair of pants. In his spare time he scribbles poems, dotes on his wife, speculates on why Leonard Cohen and Jacques Brel are not as popular in America as Ricky Martin or Britney Spears and runs Gravity Presses (lest we all float away) Inc., a small press publisher of poetry chapbooks and a quarterly magazine, Now Here Nowhere. He can be contacted at mikeb50 at hotmail.com.

Responses to the haiku for 6 December 2000 by Michael J. Barney

  1.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-04-16 11:36:28
     

    another example of your unique abilities.

    my only suggestion would be, an elimination of certain words.


    case in point:



    a cricket...
    sounding a chirp
    as the moon appears


    in this case, less is best.

  2.  
    gK
    2003-07-21 08:45:48
     

    In Bob's suggested rewrite he has stripped Michael's haiku of all of its poetry. If I was to rewrite it myself, the only deletion that I would be the second "single", but I would rearrainge the words and lines to help emphasize the synchonicity between the moon and the cricket's chirp:

    as the moon appears...
    a single cricket sounds
    a sharp cry

    The original version is a little too close to being a sentence:

    A single cricket sounding a single sharp cry as the moon appears

    gK

  3.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2003-12-23 00:46:16
     

    gk, at times, things are mer-i-to-ri-ous on being stripped bare, to allow one a sampling of their essence ...


    rubbing to keep warm -
    cricket's chirp
    highlights the darkness

  4.  
    Narayanan Raghunathan (mahashishta at hotmail dot com)
    2004-01-04 14:40:50
     

    forest path
    crickets cry out
    the dark void

  5.  
    john tiong chunghoo (bagiruang at yahoo dot com)
    2004-02-04 08:47:49
     

    slicing
    my night
    cricket's shrill

  6.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2004-04-28 20:07:29
     

    no doves cooing
    spring-rain soaked streets --
    no moon tonight

    -

  7.  
    Vasile Moldovan (vasilemoldovan at yahoo dot com)
    2004-06-17 23:55:49
     

    The sharp cry
    of a songle cricket -
    the moon is rising

  8.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2004-10-31 13:19:36
     

    ominous clouds
    billowing greys and whites --
    behind them all, blue

  9.  
    Vasile Moldovan (vasilemoldovan at yahoo dot com)
    2004-11-19 04:24:11
     

    Really a single cricket...
    but the moonlight and its cry
    fill up all the field

  10.  
    bob richardson (orgbob at webtv dot net)
    2005-05-22 15:12:33
     

    midnight, in sight
    blacken countryside
    following that white line

  11.