Writing on water
the egret, looking for fish
makes little foot-notes.
Published by
d. f. tweney
d. f. tweney is the founder and publisher of tinywords.com. A writer, editor, journalist, and listener poet, he lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with his family. He tries to write haiku every day, but he doesn't always succeed.
View all posts by d. f. tweney
7 thoughts on “”
in looking back, how much clearer we see things; with this thought in mind, i adhered to the beckoning, and here i am, at the starting point.
i see a side of the haiku-world, in your writing, many try to deny, for whatever reason(s).
all the rules of do(s) and don’t(s) widen my eyes, to wonder what those, whose voices champion a single path for the haiku, are trying to do. the thought rushes to mind, of someone hell-bent on a derailment.
dft, i see what you are saying in your “haiku”, because i have seen the egret, and your depiction is (a thing of beauty), especially the lighthearted mood it presents.
continuing, it shows how we can “follow the rules, and break the rules”, simultaneously; and there remains what the haiku was intended to be
having placed my mind under restraints, i will not delve deeper, (for the moment); as the egret stands in, what seemingly appears to be, shallow water.
in looking back, how much clearer we see things; with this thought in mind, i adhered to the beckoning, and here i am, at the starting point.
i see a side of the haiku-world, in your writing, many try to deny, for whatever reason(s).
all the rules of do(s) and don’t(s) widen my eyes, to wonder what those, whose voices champion a single path for the haiku, are trying to do. the thought rushes to mind, of someone hell-bent on a derailment.
dft, i see what you are saying in your “haiku”, because i have seen the egret, and your depiction is (a thing of beauty), especially the lighthearted mood it presents.
continuing, it shows how we can “follow the rules, and break the rules”, simultaneously; and there remains what the haiku was intended to be
having placed my mind under restraints, i will not delve deeper, (for the moment); as the egret stands in, what seemingly appears to be, shallow water.
good work
the lotus pond
the lone bird shuffles
the starry sky ~
fate
poultry chasing dog i gave away
ends up in the cooking pot
whispers in the wind —
spread by the lofty pines
twilight
–
Tickets of meal-
the egret’s foot-notes
on water
reaching out
from the darkness ~
lone flicker of light
as spring returns
once more…
the song of the mockingbird