I beg forgiveness if I am completely wrong, but I suspect Zhanna is missing a linguistic subtlety here, english not being her/his mother tongue.
Line 1 is telling, sure.
But what about: A line of thunderstorms
Make mine a double
This sounds like two distinct sentences, with the last reading like John’s order to the barman. However, I read it as a single sentence, with the storms making his order a double, leaving us with a (I imagine) deliberate ambiguity between ‘telling’ and ‘showing’.
Surely both Zhanna and Norman are missing the ‘linguistic subtlety’ here! ‘Make mine a double’ may be an order to a barman, but the implicit meaning here is that both airport bars and a line of thunderstorms make a traveller’s life hell.
It looks to me that you are not showing as much as telling. Did you try to say (to show) it differently? Zhanna
I beg forgiveness if I am completely wrong, but I suspect Zhanna is missing a linguistic subtlety here, english not being her/his mother tongue.
Line 1 is telling, sure.
But what about:
A line of thunderstorms
Make mine a double
This sounds like two distinct sentences, with the last reading like John’s order to the barman. However, I read it as a single sentence, with the storms making his order a double, leaving us with a (I imagine) deliberate ambiguity between ‘telling’ and ‘showing’.
traveler’s haven
a drink in hand –
coming in out of the rain
Surely both Zhanna and Norman are missing the ‘linguistic subtlety’ here! ‘Make mine a double’ may be an order to a barman, but the implicit meaning here is that both airport bars and a line of thunderstorms make a traveller’s life hell.
thunderstorm~
planes at rest dazzle
in watery mazes
lightning showers~
lonely beggar plays
the bamboo flute
rains splash light~
rainbow umbrellas
traverse the winds
drenched in rain
ancient lovers dance
midnight ecstasy
world gone mad
beijing airport staff
gives way to a white woman jumping queue
food for thought
missing plane’s departure …
my reflection in the glass
–