approaching storm —
his daughter hasn’t told him
about the car dent
Published by
Deborah P Kolodji
Deborah P Kolodji moderates the Southern California Haiku Study Group, which meets monthly in Pasadena, CA at the Pacific Asia Museum. A former president of the Science Fiction Poetry Association, she is the California Regional Coordinator of the Haiku Society of America. She has published over 800 haiku.
View all posts by Deborah P Kolodji
This is a very interesting perspective.
You’d rather expect:
approaching storm —
hasn’t told her dad
about the car dent
since it’s the daughter who knows of the approaching storm.
So we have a situation where the central actor – the dad – doesn’t even know about this approaching (non-)climatic event, that we’ve been let in on.
Nice tension, very effective.
Clever and witty. Nice element of surprise.
This is a very interesting perspective.
You’d rather expect:
approaching storm —
hasn’t told her dad
about the car dent
since it’s the daughter who knows of the approaching storm.
So we have a situation where the central actor – the dad – doesn’t even know about this approaching (non-)climatic event, that we’ve been let in on.
Nice tension, very effective.
storm approaching
another …
catches her eye
open secret
his preference to keep quiet
about his sexual orientation
horns sound
somewhere in the tunnel —
the all’s clear signal
–