saying good-bye
my hand warms
the iron gate
Published by
w. f. owen
w.f. owen (ToDrBill at aol.com) is a Professor of Communication, a founding member of the Central Valley Haiku Club of California, and a member of the Haiku Poets of Northern California and the Haiku Society of America. He publishes regularly in such journals as Frogpond, Modern Haiku and Acorn, and has received awards in the 2001 Henderson Haiku and Brady Senryu contests. In 2002, he has won awards in the World Haiku Festival R. H. Blyth contest and the California Civil Liberties Public Education Program contest sponsored by the California State Library Foundation. View all posts by w. f. owen
very nice poem which reads well with good economy
of words. nice image.
I can feel the image as I read this wonderful haiku. The warmth of the good-bye is highlighted for me in the last two lines.
A lovely distillation of the lingering warmth of a long goodby. Perfect.
Great Image of a lingering goodby.
Saying so much in the few words.
Helen Kinsella
I like the parallel imagery of your bodyheat leaking to the iron gate/your loved one leaving;
and the cold/loneliness entering you in exchange.
Spare and compact, better each time you re-read.
So lovely. On first reading there was a lump in my throat. I like the economy of words and the warmth of the emotions.
as i read this haiku, my mind felt compelled to fill in what seemed to be a blank or a “disjuncture”. the first thing that came to mind was a goodbye that was accompanied by a lingering, the haiku had painted the picture. yet there was room to add one more word to broaden the experience as such:
saying good-bye
my hesitant hand warms…
the iron gate
Lovely. Perhaps this has been a difficult relationship, and the letting go is happening with grace and forgiveness. Iron and warmth. And perhaps this will allow for future moments of friendship. I’ve been listening to the new Fleetwood Mac CD, which concludes with lovely good-bye songs…
to w.f.owen: i liked your ku from ’03g6 :
saying goodbye/my hand warms/the iron gate;
this has a time element in it which is good. Too many in tinywords are weak but i am looking at some of them. When did you co-found CentralVHC? It is definitely one of the good ones on this site.
raining
old man in telephone booth
emptying pockets
beneath the many stones
left unturned —
rest the golden nugget