glimpse of a deer —
I reach for my camera
too late
Published by
Deborah P Kolodji
Deborah P Kolodji moderates the Southern California Haiku Study Group, which meets monthly in Pasadena, CA at the Pacific Asia Museum. A former president of the Science Fiction Poetry Association, she is the California Regional Coordinator of the Haiku Society of America. She has published over 800 haiku.
View all posts by Deborah P Kolodji
I have a troubled relationship with my camera: it can block my ‘haiku vision’, getting in the way of the union between perceiver and perceived; yet I find looking through my photos a powerful agent in recalling experiences and emotions, this often resulting in further haiku moments.
the thought has been imprinted in my consciousness, deborah’s contemplating what i am about to say, even though there was this flash, as i weigh the contents of her creation.
my thoughts are not fully “developed”, as of this moment, on this piece.
though norman’s words are seemingly over-exposed, for lack of a better phrase; i am trying to understand the embodiment of his and others likes or dislikes, rather than a simple it’s good, great juxtapose, nice, and well done. then, there’s the point on if one offers the slightest suggestion on what might make a haiku a better haiku, there is this scent of tar in the air, while seeing the crowd anteing up their own feathers, for the infamous mixture.
if norman has no negative feelings, perhaps he can bestow a clearer picture on what he is issuing forth.
smiling, needing some cheese to cleanse the palate of my mental focusing, conceivably, this time tomorrow, there will issue forth a candid remark, if only, on my part
What are the odds? I got this link in an email from WinningWriters.com and I just happen to be browsing the “yesterday” haikus and there you are: Sol’s Poet Laureate. My goodness, you get around don’t you? lol. Love your Haiku, btw.
Well Deborah, I for one am glad you were too late – otherwise we wouldn’t have had this lovely haiku from you!
I have a troubled relationship with my camera: it can block my ‘haiku vision’, getting in the way of the union between perceiver and perceived; yet I find looking through my photos a powerful agent in recalling experiences and emotions, this often resulting in further haiku moments.
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the thought has been imprinted in my consciousness, deborah’s contemplating what i am about to say, even though there was this flash, as i weigh the contents of her creation.
my thoughts are not fully “developed”, as of this moment, on this piece.
though norman’s words are seemingly over-exposed, for lack of a better phrase; i am trying to understand the embodiment of his and others likes or dislikes, rather than a simple it’s good, great juxtapose, nice, and well done. then, there’s the point on if one offers the slightest suggestion on what might make a haiku a better haiku, there is this scent of tar in the air, while seeing the crowd anteing up their own feathers, for the infamous mixture.
if norman has no negative feelings, perhaps he can bestow a clearer picture on what he is issuing forth.
smiling, needing some cheese to cleanse the palate of my mental focusing, conceivably, this time tomorrow, there will issue forth a candid remark, if only, on my part
another day…
where do i start.
“glimpse of a deer –”
innocent enough
for some reason, i feel this should be the main focus of the haiku
“I reach for my camera
too late”
i sense this time factor, of present and hindsight
going back to the first line, what about a “glimpse” of the deer
to me it is rather vague, while lacking the clarity, conciseness of what creates this instantaneous moment.
second and third lines, i ponder how to make this succinct enough to place on one line
“I reach for my camera
too late”
a tough one here.
the flash goes off.
“a great time for a two lines haiku”
a deer’s white tail
focusing camera, fruitless
deborah, what do you think…
What are the odds? I got this link in an email from WinningWriters.com and I just happen to be browsing the “yesterday” haikus and there you are: Sol’s Poet Laureate. My goodness, you get around don’t you? lol. Love your Haiku, btw.
Tanya
Ehhh . . .
whistling
the lady gets
her little son to pee
rose, with tiny buds
too late …
she closed the curtains
–
dpk, this came to mind, also;
glimpse of a dear
too late …
she closed the curtains
late saturday evenings does this
Not a chanse –
after the deer’s run
she film the trifle
first day
the new year
not even a glimpse of rose
–