shop window
my face reflected
on the mannequin
Published by
Graham Nunn
Graham Nunn is a Queensland born poet who has had haiku published in international journals paper wasp and yellow moon and on tinywords.com. Recently he received a highly commended in the Seed Pearls International Yellow Moon Literary Competition, for his haiku. He also recently won the Yellow Moon renga competition writing with Rowan Donovan and the 2002 Jack Stamm haiku competiton. e-mail contact kilbey at optusnet.com.au View all posts by Graham Nunn
Very nice haiku moment. I like the juxtaposition of the image.
Nunn has such a knack for Haiku like this one–the ability to give the reader that “Yes! I’ve been there feeling.” Many thanks to tinywords.com for giving me so many of these moments during my work day. I appreciate the opportunity to stop and breathe and be transported somewhere else for a moment.
after reading deborah and erin’s comments, i feel almost hesitant in continuing, yet somehow, someway i’ll find the strength.
first, i’ll get away from the supposed rules on writing a haiku…
my mind tends to drift at time, as i ponder saying “an haiku”. i know the rule on words beginning with “a” vowel, and usage with a or an, lately, the need to get technical.
“however”, there are times you just want to do it, that something different.
back to the business at hand; i’ll start at the bottom and work my way up.
it was “cute”, the way graham used “a” little play on words, the word being “reflected”.
is the phrase “double entendre”.
i can appreciate this, except for not desiring to see the moment through graham’s eyes, but being an innocent bystander, while witnessing the moment.
there’s more…
continuing…
in addition to, for some apparent reason, i desire to say “reflects”.
then, this leads to all sorts of reconstruction efforts.
the deeper i plunged into the moment, the more mired i became.
remake time:
the shop window…
reflects, his face,
the mannequin
it becomes somewhat difficult to express the moment in words, however, it can be done, especially if your face can express the moment.
oh well, i did like graham’s thought.
Graham – NICE haiku!! I have played this reflection game, more than once, when insomnia
was in charge. There is a word associated w/ the emotions that haiku can bring about; “YUGEN”: “Images that evoke a mysterious sense of aloneness.”
For me, your haiku fits the word perfect!
I like this as well… Although I might suggest inserting a dash after “window” (I have this strange fascination with dashes), I found the poem (and its imagery) both elegant and enjoyable.
One thing I like is how it can be read with the loneliness Michael L. Evans described, but also lends itself to a more humorous interpretation that reminds me of traditional senryu (that is, haiku about humans or human nature, traditionally ironic or funny in some way).
Well done!
window shopping
a child twists to a mannequin
in dance pose
enjoyed this haunting haiku so much, i had to come back to it tonight. thank you.
bus departure
her face behind
the drifting clouds
end of trying day ~
my shadow crawls
in the direction of home
–