Margarita Engle is the Cuban-American author of young adult novels in verse, including The Surrender Tree, which received the first Newbery Honor ever awarded to a Latino. Her most recent book is Hurricane Dancers, the First Caribbean Pirate Shipwreck.
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I think your haiku works very well in the tradition of the masters who linked themselves to nature. This is, for me, one of the most rewarding sides of good haiku writing.
however, the second line lacks juxtapose, we seemingly have what some term “cause and effect”.
then all together, we have “verbal phrasing”.
may i suggest, and though your piece has been printed, by no mean am i inferring a remake, as many think my comments indicate, simply food for thought:
hawk on an updraft
warm shower to relax me
from a trying day
the first line, one thinks has nothing to do with the second and third lines, yet it does set the stage for reading between the lines that follow.
i must agree with craig, if only in “the rewards of a good haiku”, to this i add, my thinking, “wow, this feels good to me, and it’s so thought provoking”.
a good haiku leaves me with the same feelings as a sip from a glass of cabernet, hmmm, say something from the mid-seventies
now, if i can get an explanation from craig, as to what a good haiku does for him…
Thank you, Margarita. I sure need to learn this too. Also, I like the way you indent the second and third lines in your poems. Simple and lovely and clear. Blessings, Ellen
I think your haiku works very well in the tradition of the masters who linked themselves to nature. This is, for me, one of the most rewarding sides of good haiku writing.
a nice image in your first line, margarita.
however, the second line lacks juxtapose, we seemingly have what some term “cause and effect”.
then all together, we have “verbal phrasing”.
may i suggest, and though your piece has been printed, by no mean am i inferring a remake, as many think my comments indicate, simply food for thought:
hawk on an updraft
warm shower to relax me
from a trying day
the first line, one thinks has nothing to do with the second and third lines, yet it does set the stage for reading between the lines that follow.
i must agree with craig, if only in “the rewards of a good haiku”, to this i add, my thinking, “wow, this feels good to me, and it’s so thought provoking”.
a good haiku leaves me with the same feelings as a sip from a glass of cabernet, hmmm, say something from the mid-seventies
now, if i can get an explanation from craig, as to what a good haiku does for him…
Thank you, Margarita. I sure need to learn this too. Also, I like the way you indent the second and third lines in your poems. Simple and lovely and clear. Blessings, Ellen
sweet job
butterfly
and bees
summer heat-wave
thermal updrafts —
nary a raptor in the sky
well done. your work is exemplary.
marsh mist
mallards drift
with a fiberglass decoy
holiday weekend
cat naps …
winding down
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