late summer
descending into her jeans
a celtic tattoo
Published by
Jeffrey Winke
Jeffrey Winke lives in Milwaukee, Wisconsin in a suburban condo mere blocks from Lake Michigan. He writes haiku, haibun, and articles about heavy equipment moving dirt.
View all posts by Jeffrey Winke
12 thoughts on “”
An awesome image and placement for a celtic tattoo
the number one reason why words ending in “ing” should be avoided, improper placement; proper structuring remains important
i have this vision, for this apparent reason, of “summer” dipping into her jean; unless, of course, “late summer” is a pseudonym, or possibly an “alias”
as mark commented an “awesome image, and placement for a celtic tattoo”, i concur, although i placed the “,” behind image
my mental re-creation pictures what jeffrey is saying, however, i could be wrong
i missed the “jeffrey’s mystery”
a slight rearrangement and remake:
late summer…
a celtic’s tattoo exposing
from her jeans
a crisper juxtapose
“exposing” more of a teaser
“descending into”, i felt, suggests further movement, or even gives life to the “tattoo”
i read somewhere, “the best writers are re-writers”, no reference to me, but to those who readily re-write their material, in an effort to perfect it
No, “exposed” would be exactly wrong. It’s the end of summer — she’s putting the jeans back on at the end of vacation. And for what it’s worth, I like this ambiguous use of the participle — both readings are correct, that the tattoo (literally) and summer (figuratively) are going into her jeans. The double meaning adds to our interpretation, making it easier to read by giving context.
lnh and dr singh, the combining of words are meant to produce an understanding, be it literally, figuratively, or a caricature; at least for some
lnh, even stretching my imagination, i can’t conceive summer going into her jeans, instead, her body, and/or even the tattoo on her body, are more suggestive.
lnh, what is said about the writing of a haiku, the (do)s and (don’t)s; i believe rules being, “no fairy tales” or “one’s interpretation”, accurately replay the observation
as for a double meaning, where…
as for it being at the end of a vacation, ditto.
rather than making an assumption, try along this line, “there was this vacation at the end of summer, this reminds me of…”
i understood the painting by jeffrey, even my being outside the jeans; however, reading or hearing the words stirred up the conversation on the possibilities, correct or incorrect
the word that comes to mind, withstanding lnh, is
“withershins”…
Hmm, am getting in late on this interesting discussion. Which is best, or worst, Jeffrey’s
dangling participle or Bob’s use of an “ing”
verb at the end of a line. I know poets who
would attack/defend either – so will leave that
to these two.
I wish to discuss the reversed syntax of lines
2 & 3 … an issue I am dealing with in my own
haiku. To me, the ambiguity does not work well
in this haiku – so I think it would be an even better poem in natural syntax,with a slight
alteration:
late summer
a celtic tattoo disappears
into her jeans
michael l., there’s always a reason, in my case, i am counting characters
to make a suggestion; syntax: the established rules of usage for arrangement of the words of sentences into their proper forms and relations; michael, this becomes rather confusing in one’s attempt to write a haiku.
returning to the “usage of a verb ending in (ing) at the end of a line”, this verb being a part of speech, if indeed it was a verb, it becomes a participle; so called because it partakes of the character both of a verb and an adjective.
not quite finished yet, michael, however we do have nouns ending in “ing”; of which verbs become with the adding of “ing”, it’s usage usually exhibiting an act
finally, there is no best nor worst, unless it is the inner struggles of the “one”, this being up for personal interpretation. an example, michael have you ever seen things at their best when they were at their worse. forgive my rambling, michael, tis so earlier in the morn, for the sun has not yet risen…
in other words, “just fooling” with you, michael, but i do suggest you reread my words again, with an open mind
An awesome image and placement for a celtic tattoo
___dangling participle___
the number one reason why words ending in “ing” should be avoided, improper placement; proper structuring remains important
i have this vision, for this apparent reason, of “summer” dipping into her jean; unless, of course, “late summer” is a pseudonym, or possibly an “alias”
as mark commented an “awesome image, and placement for a celtic tattoo”, i concur, although i placed the “,” behind image
my mental re-creation pictures what jeffrey is saying, however, i could be wrong
i missed the “jeffrey’s mystery”
a slight rearrangement and remake:
late summer…
a celtic’s tattoo exposing
from her jeans
a crisper juxtapose
“exposing” more of a teaser
“descending into”, i felt, suggests further movement, or even gives life to the “tattoo”
i read somewhere, “the best writers are re-writers”, no reference to me, but to those who readily re-write their material, in an effort to perfect it
It’s a marvellous haiku with genteel sensuousness and happy feelings, despite veiled irony.
No, “exposed” would be exactly wrong. It’s the end of summer — she’s putting the jeans back on at the end of vacation. And for what it’s worth, I like this ambiguous use of the participle — both readings are correct, that the tattoo (literally) and summer (figuratively) are going into her jeans. The double meaning adds to our interpretation, making it easier to read by giving context.
—L.
lnh and dr singh, the combining of words are meant to produce an understanding, be it literally, figuratively, or a caricature; at least for some
lnh, even stretching my imagination, i can’t conceive summer going into her jeans, instead, her body, and/or even the tattoo on her body, are more suggestive.
lnh, what is said about the writing of a haiku, the (do)s and (don’t)s; i believe rules being, “no fairy tales” or “one’s interpretation”, accurately replay the observation
as for a double meaning, where…
as for it being at the end of a vacation, ditto.
rather than making an assumption, try along this line, “there was this vacation at the end of summer, this reminds me of…”
i understood the painting by jeffrey, even my being outside the jeans; however, reading or hearing the words stirred up the conversation on the possibilities, correct or incorrect
the word that comes to mind, withstanding lnh, is
“withershins”…
Hmm, am getting in late on this interesting discussion. Which is best, or worst, Jeffrey’s
dangling participle or Bob’s use of an “ing”
verb at the end of a line. I know poets who
would attack/defend either – so will leave that
to these two.
I wish to discuss the reversed syntax of lines
2 & 3 … an issue I am dealing with in my own
haiku. To me, the ambiguity does not work well
in this haiku – so I think it would be an even better poem in natural syntax,with a slight
alteration:
late summer
a celtic tattoo disappears
into her jeans
upon hearing my name mentioned, here i am
michael l., there’s always a reason, in my case, i am counting characters
to make a suggestion; syntax: the established rules of usage for arrangement of the words of sentences into their proper forms and relations; michael, this becomes rather confusing in one’s attempt to write a haiku.
returning to the “usage of a verb ending in (ing) at the end of a line”, this verb being a part of speech, if indeed it was a verb, it becomes a participle; so called because it partakes of the character both of a verb and an adjective.
more coming, michael…
michael, this, i trust you are reading…
not quite finished yet, michael, however we do have nouns ending in “ing”; of which verbs become with the adding of “ing”, it’s usage usually exhibiting an act
finally, there is no best nor worst, unless it is the inner struggles of the “one”, this being up for personal interpretation. an example, michael have you ever seen things at their best when they were at their worse. forgive my rambling, michael, tis so earlier in the morn, for the sun has not yet risen…
in other words, “just fooling” with you, michael, but i do suggest you reread my words again, with an open mind
Every girl of the summer brought to mind instantly. Autumnal thanks.
nude beach…
finally at dusk
her ray ban’s come down
heavy tattoo
her nipple
in the warrior’s mouth
late in life
remembrance, in her eyes …
once tight jeans, loose around her waist
–