Barry Goodmann (bgoodmann at aol.com) is a poet, writer and editor who lives in the New York metropolitan area. He has published poetry on several websites and in various literary magazines.
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6 thoughts on “”
This is an interesting senryu–a humorous or satirical haiku. The image that comes to mind is someone visiting his old elementary school and trying to get a drink of water in the hall and having to stoop quite a bit. It’s an amusing image. Yet I think it could also touch on the poet’s feeling that his schooling (or old school) has not provided him with all the knowledge he ideally would like to have. There is a search for more insight, a higher font of wisdom. I imagine that other interpretations could be made as well.
sorry, barry, at times i give my mind too free-a-rein.
so humor me for (a) moment.
“my old school”
i readily related to your first line.
“the water fountain”
(at times), having a stickler for syntax, i am reminded of the (dangling participle)
i, for an instant, saw the water fountain as being the location of the school, though i am sure we have a contrasting point, here.
“much too low”
rather than height, as i am sure was your intention, i perceived (water level)
barry, give me a day or two to gather my composure, enabling my thoughts to drift in the direction as perceived by yoshi and ellen
This is an interesting senryu–a humorous or satirical haiku. The image that comes to mind is someone visiting his old elementary school and trying to get a drink of water in the hall and having to stoop quite a bit. It’s an amusing image. Yet I think it could also touch on the poet’s feeling that his schooling (or old school) has not provided him with all the knowledge he ideally would like to have. There is a search for more insight, a higher font of wisdom. I imagine that other interpretations could be made as well.
A good picture of how our experiences of proportion change.
So many years ago:
the days I thought
I’d never get through
I also like yoshi’s comments about the limitations of schooling and the search for a “higher font of wisdom.”
By the way, I visited my elementary school when grown. My first grade teacher recognized me the second she saw me!
sorry, barry, at times i give my mind too free-a-rein.
so humor me for (a) moment.
“my old school”
i readily related to your first line.
“the water fountain”
(at times), having a stickler for syntax, i am reminded of the (dangling participle)
i, for an instant, saw the water fountain as being the location of the school, though i am sure we have a contrasting point, here.
“much too low”
rather than height, as i am sure was your intention, i perceived (water level)
barry, give me a day or two to gather my composure, enabling my thoughts to drift in the direction as perceived by yoshi and ellen
hallway
the taste of sunflower seeds
from the fountain
Ayone want to renga here?
sweet old days
sick old grandma
shouting for cola
after all these years —
old school walls need new paint
hallway still smells the same
–