backyard sun shower . . .
the windchime song
changes with each cloud
Published by
Stanford M. Forrester
Stanford M. Forrester is a past president of the Haiku Society of America as well as the editor of bottle rockets: a collection of short verse, which boasts its 14th year in print. Stanford has had poems published in many journals and anthologies worldwide. He perhaps is most proud of his haiku being included in Haiku edited by Peter Washington in the Everyman's Pocket Poetry Series published by Knopf and American Zen: A Gathering of Poets published by Bottomdog Press. In 2004 he took first seat in the 57th Annual Basho Anthology Contest in Ueno, Japan and in 2012, one of his haiku won second place in the International Robert Frost Poetry & Haiku contest. View all posts by Stanford M. Forrester
I like this… There’s a sense of stillness invoked with the moving clouds, plus a union of human and nature in the “man-made” windchime seemingly being affected by the changing shape of the distant clouds–and a bit of humor as well. Thank you for sharing this poem!
well Stan,
I thought that you were still the president of
the HSA, and Tom Painting was the current 2nd VP?
Anywho, I enjoyed the movement and sound in this
haiku. The juxtapositon is good, and I agree with
Michael, though there maybe also something seen,
that is familiar in the clouds, while the clouds
change shape.
Gene
intriguing-
though overly wordy.
i am trying to remember the words (someone) used, “too informative”.
with these words, i find it difficult to relate the wind-chime’s song to the clouds, that explains why it’s not called a “cloud-chime”
“backyard sun shower . . .”
was it raining, in addition to the sun shining, or simply a down pouring of sun rays.
fascination-
“the wind-chime song”
this line could have been written alone(as a one line haiku) just the tinkling, jingling of the chimes is a different(concert) story each time.
“changes with each cloud”
i wonder…
backyard . . .
the wind-chime song
as the clouds change
remake-
To B.Richardson:
Interesting. Your remake isn’t the same thing.
The sounds of the windchimes are from a combination of wind and the rain hitting it.
Sunshowers include rain and light, hence the name.
If this haiku were “too informative”, which I disagree, I’m not sure why these questions are having to be answered in the first place.
Your revision leaves out the rain, as well as, the sun shower (the light/darkness element) which are both very important to the poem. Though I like it very much, really do, what you have proposed is not the same poem as I said before, does not have the same level of depth as the original, and is singular. Thank you for thinking enough about my poem to take the time to send in a comment.
To answer Gene + others:
Yes, I am currently the president of the Haiku Society of America. The posted bio is unfortunately from last year when I served as 2nd VP and was not updated.
Best,
Stanford M. Forrester
and in the interest of complete information, my reply to stanford:
stanford,
interesting-
true, my remake isn’t the same thing.
a combination of the wind and the rain
hitting the windchimes at that moment were known only to you.
surely you must agree, any words i may have written are an interpretation from the words you presented
“sunshowers including rain and light, hence the name”, was new to me, even though i was able to conceive/perceive your intentions.
it has been my understanding, at times too much can be placed in a haiku, rather than allowing the readers or listeners to form their own opinions
true, i focused on the windchimes and the thought, there was a breeze present, allowing for the changing clouds; as forementioned, one can try to emphasize (too much)
cont…
continuation…
true again, what i proposed does not contain the same dimensions, to equate to the same dimensions i would have to apply my own reasoning, to myself, as aforementioned.
“singular poem”, hmmm, i have heard this term in reference to poe’s raven, before i continue, might you explain your usage…
just me
a note, stanford: forgive me, if, i left a word or two out; it’s difficult for me to photographically remember as i once did, yesterday; other words, i forget sometimes. if, this isn’t close enough, please, print my exact response to you.
widow’s death
her windchime
tinkling through the night
morning sunshine …
homeless man’s cardboard bed
on the sidewalk
–
asleep
in one’s own embrace …
the world going by