after the bang –
on the lake surface
falls dead silence
Published by
Jasminka Nadaskic Diordievic
Jasminka Nadaskic Diordievic
Smederevo, Yugoslavia
e-mail: dior at sezampro.yu
I am from Yugoslavia. Computers (any kind of computers), poetry, haiku, art photography, mountain climbing ... it is my orientation. Professionally, I am an electrical engineer, but my soul is primarily a little piece of Nature.
View all posts by Jasminka Nadaskic Diordievic
10 thoughts on “”
Jasminka: I REALLY like this haiku!
Think I would like it even more if
it were in natural syntax. For example:
after the bang –
dead silence falls
on the lake surface
Two days before the posting by Jasminka Nadaskic Diordievic, I had a strange experience waiting for the commuter train at the station. There’s something about the autumn dusk…
Yes, captures the moment exactly. I saw a wounded bird on the beach last fall–an arrow in its wing, but of course after what happened to it, I looked like a predator and was not allowed to help. When I came back, the bird was gone.
Simply marvellous: this recorded moment of contrast, the noise, into the silence absorbed; its like watching firework appear, cascade and disappear in the night sky.
Jasminka: I REALLY like this haiku!
Think I would like it even more if
it were in natural syntax. For example:
after the bang –
dead silence falls
on the lake surface
Probably just a matter of style.
Michael L. Evans
Thank you, Jasminka! This haiku is a genuine “moment.” Perfect as is. One can hear the sound and the silence.
autumn dusk
treetops stir in the silence
Two days before the posting by Jasminka Nadaskic Diordievic, I had a strange experience waiting for the commuter train at the station. There’s something about the autumn dusk…
Yes, captures the moment exactly. I saw a wounded bird on the beach last fall–an arrow in its wing, but of course after what happened to it, I looked like a predator and was not allowed to help. When I came back, the bird was gone.
so still-
lake’s mirrored images
evergreens, clouds, and the blue sky
Simply marvellous: this recorded moment of contrast, the noise, into the silence absorbed; its like watching firework appear, cascade and disappear in the night sky.
Wonderful Jasminka!
A difficult moment it’s a capture to – when the echo of the bang bouncing around is, then made than ever deeper the silence.
Or would it have been just that bit better in natural syntax? Beautiful nonetheless.
Your haiku is just so right.
The silence would be intense!
Elaine
croc-infested river
the overwhelming calm
after the buffalo splash
old grey house –
so cold, and empty
silence